A mom writes in asking for advice. Her ex’s girlfriend refuses to let his kids come over to their house, which is ruining their relationship. Each time they go over to his house, they almost immediately come back because his girlfriend won’t let them stay over. Her kids complain that she is mean to them as well. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“My kid’s dad and girlfriend have a bad relationship from what I can tell. So last night, my kids were supposed to send the night with him so he could take them to school. He comes picks them up, and 20 mins later, he calls saying that he is bringing the kids back. So when my kids get home, they start telling me that his girlfriend was mean, which is why they couldn’t stay the night.
This happens a lot! He’ll get them and then turns around and brings them back. I don’t want to keep my kids from their dad. But I get frustrated because they ask me why they can’t go. Also, they just had a baby together. So, my daughter wanted to buy her new baby brother something, which we did.
Last night his girlfriend wouldn’t even take it. She just told my daughter that the baby has plenty. I mean, if she didn’t want, she could’ve still taken it and not hurt her feelings. She was so excited to give him the things she picked out at the store.”
Community Advice for This Mom Upset with Ex’s Girlfriend
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
There was some mixed advice for this mom. Some felt that she should talk to the father about it while others felt that her kids are better off without the ex’s girlfriend in their lives. One shared, “Keeping them away from that drama regardless if he’s the dad is better. I wouldn’t trust her at all. Especially if he’s not gonna put his foot down. I would just keep my kids at home.”
Some felt like she should talk to the girlfriend. One said, “I would confront the girlfriend myself, without any children around.” Another advised, “Talk to the father and girlfriend at the same time without the kids around. That way everyone is on the same page about how this needs to be handled and how your kids feel.”
Others offered other advice. Another commenter suggested, “I would consult the kid’s doctor about what effect this is having on kids and if they suggest the counselor for you to take the kids to I would do it because this is probably really having a depressing effect on the kids.” Another commenter agreed, “You need to have a sit-down talk with him. Rejecting a present from your kid is a huge red flag. Put your kids in counseling and have their dad come to it as well, sometimes hearing it from a professional helps.”
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