A mom writes in asking for advice. She recently heard some very horrible things about some parents that she knows and wonders how to report it. Her daughter went over to play and then told her what happened. Apparently, the parents hit their four-year-old on the butt with a wooden spoon with ‘crinkles.’ From the sounds of it, it sounds like they neglect the youngest boy. This mom wonders how to report it. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“I’m concerned about a child. My 8-year-old daughter went over to her friends last night straight from school. Waking up this morning, she has come to me and shared some things that have made her uncomfortable. She said her friend’s parents hit their youngest, who is 4, with a wooden spoon on the bum. My daughter heard the mother threaten her son with it, so my daughter asked her friend about it.
Her friend told her it’s the only thing that works to get her brother to behave; she said that his bum has bled from it as he had splintered. It’s no longer soft it has crinkles (her words). She also went on to say that the daughter has a party every year for her birthday, but the brother doesn’t. ‘They just go for food and don’t talk.’ I obviously feel really uncomfortable with this information and cried when my daughter told me.
She is 8 years old and knows that it is wrong! I’ve been trying to contact safeguarding children all day to no avail do you think I should report it to the police? I’ve decided that maybe the eight-year-old has possibly exaggerated, but the bottom line is if they have nothing to hide, then the worst that will happen is they won’t like me. I can live with that.
I have also spoken to a friend who knows the family who told me they have actually reported them before to safeguarding in church about another issue. There just seems to be a lot of little things building up, and I don’t want to just sit on this information, but I don’t know if this is something I report to the police. I really don’t want to wait until Monday to get through to NSPCC. I have spoken to them and they said there was nobody to take my call.”
Community Advice for This Mom Worried About Neglect
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Most advice for this mom encouraged was very encouraging. Many told her that because she heard horrible things about what the parents were doing, she should report it. One said, “I think you need to talk to the parents and possibly call CPS. Anything that bruises beyond is so many hours is abuse. Call the child abuse hotline and report it.”
Others agreed, “If the child is hit so hard they bleed that is not discipline! I would report it. Spanking them is one thing this is another! What if you don’t report it and something really bad happens. How will you feel?” Another commented, “Hitting a child with anything other than your hand is considered straight-up abuse by CPS and other affiliated offices.”
However, there were some warnings related to reporting parents even though it sounds horrible. One said, “First of all, you’re doing way too much already! Speak to them. You didn’t speak to the other child directly I’m guessing. You’re going based on hearsay and could cause so many unnecessary problems for these parents.” Another agreed, “When you have facts you report but you don’t have enough info to pass judgment. What if it’s nothing and you ruin a home and a reputation?”
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