A mom writes in asking for advice. She wants to get her husband caught for drinking and driving but doesn’t know how to. His entire family is alcoholics, so they don’t care that he drives drunk. He will even drive his children while under the influence. She wants him to get caught but doesn’t know how to go through it exactly. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“My husband is an alcoholic. He drinks and drives, including with my stepchildren. Which, his ex sees nothing wrong with, so she’d just lie for him as would his whole family. I don’t mean one or two beers, I mean 10-15. His whole family is alcoholics. He sees absolutely nothing wrong with drinking and driving. Also, he thinks he’ll never wreck because his body handles alcohol.
If I just leave him, he’ll never be caught. Does anybody know how I can have him pulled over while he’s driving drunk? Like, can I call the police ahead of time, and tell them what road he’ll be on and give them a description of him and his vehicle? I’ve got to do something. Has anybody been through this? How can I get him caught in the act?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Worried About Her Stepkids
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
There was lots of supportive advice for this mom wanting to get her husband caught for drinking and driving. One said, “There’s a 1800DUI number. I’m sure it’s not hard to find if you look. Or call the area he’s in at that time and report to them.” Another agreed, “Wait until he leaves and call and give his license plate number and where he is going.”
Others gave some more suggestions on what else to do to help him. One commented, “Addicts have to want to get help first and see they have a problem first. So I say you call the minute he leaves the house drink. If he is arrested for this then maybe it will soak in. If not, call every time he does this.” Another agreed, “I would call the police when he leaves and tell them the route he takes to get where ever he is going. He’s either going to kill himself and your stepkids or someone else’s family. I know I personally couldn’t handle knowing he could kill someone every time he leaves the house.”
One commenter gave some crucial advice. She said, “It won’t do anything. I promise you. I had a 19-year-old friend. She’s had her stomach pumped numerous times and was in the hospital for an inflamed liver from drinking. She received her first DUI at 18 after her boyfriend and friends reported her. She lost her license for a year with over $6000 in fines and classes.” She continues, “Maybe it’s because her parents paid it all off and didn’t get mad. Maybe it’s because she’s an alcoholic and alcoholics won’t change unless they see there’s a problem. I couldn’t stand around and watch her ruin her life and those around her, so I left. There’s nothing more I could’ve done.”
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My ex knew it was difficult for me to get to the Swedish Bakery in Chicago (my favorite bakery – and I’m not Swedish, he is!) because I don’t drive, so he made it a point to either pick me up and take me there or go there himself and pick up what I wanted when he asked. After 17 years of marriage and raising three children, the divorce was amicable, and we remained friends. He passed away in June of 2017 and now, three years later, I sometimes reach for the phone to talk about what our great-grandchildren are up to.