How Do I Overcome a Controlling Mother-in-Law?

A mom writes in asking for advice. She has a very controlling mother-in-law and wonders how to overcome this control. Her mother-in-law will call every day, and even watches what they spend their money on. She recently found out she is pregnant and does not want her to control her child either. She tries to talk to her husband about the issue but he doesn’t think anything is wrong. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“I am at my wits end with my mother-in-law. My husband and I just got married a little over a month ago and I swear he is still attached to her nipple. She still manages our bank account, her name is still on our bank account. If she thinks we are spending too much, she will call us and tell us not to spend any money. She literally calls him every single day and makes sure he’s okay and asks him if he needs anything.

Which fine, she has a right to check on him. But she wouldn’t even leave us alone on our honeymoon. I feel like I am going to burst. I just found out I was pregnant and I don’t want this woman to also try and micromanage our child. I have tried talking to my husband about this but he doesn’t seem to think any of this is an issue. What should I do? I love my husband so much but I really thought once we got married, his mother wouldn’t be like this. Am I overreacting?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Needing a Break

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary


Many commenters agreed that her mother-in-law is very controlling and needs to stop. One shared, “Yeah, no. I’d be pissed. No way should she be on your bank account. That’s just crossing way too many lines.” Another suggested, “Simply close that bank acct and open one with you and him.”

Others gave alternate suggestions for this mom to try to help out. One said, “Talk to her about her micromanaging, and for heaven’s sake get her name and access to the bank accounts gone.” Another agreed, “First open a bank account she can not touch and if she wasn’t a primary on the first, then have her removed. Time to explain to hubby that he is married to you not her so she needs to back off.”

Some commenters said communication is a big part, both to the mother-in-law and her husband. One commented, “She’s doing that because you’re letting her. There’s nothing wrong with them communicating but her trying to control everything when he’s married needs to stop. Put your foot down. If she doesn’t like it too bad.” Another agreed, “Mom is over the top in this. Somehow he let’s has mom do all the deciding and neither of them thinks anything is wrong. She’s not going to let go without a fight. I suggest counseling. It’s going to be a rocky ride.”

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