A mom writes in asking for advice. Her husband is an alcoholic and recently stole her purse, which had her keys and wallet in it. This is a common instance with him lately. He is not physically abusive but does this quite often. She does not feel like she can give him any more chances and wonders if she should leave him. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“I have two toddler boys. My husband is an alcoholic and is not physically abusive towards us. Our kids are safe and will stay that way. My husband has this thing where he gets the urge to leave and go out randomly, so he will make up some reason to argue with me. Last night he went through my phone and pulled up Facebook messages from guys from like six years ago. We’ve only been together for four years. He called me a cheating whore and said if I want them to go for it.
He left, and I went to sleep. The kids were already asleep when all this happened. Apparently, he came back at some point when I was sleeping and took my purse, which has my wallet and car keys. I already reported all my credit/debit cards stolen, but now I and the kids are stuck at the house with no way to leave, and I have to work today. This is not the first time he’s done this type of thing. It’s pretty common. I’m so done. Would any of you stay in a relationship like this?”
Community Advice for This Mom Curious About Divorce
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice for this mom was in support of her leaving. Most agreed that if their husband was an alcoholic and stole from them, they would leave the relationship as well. One shared, “Deep down you already know the answer. You have got to leave him. Do it before it gets worse and he messes with your kid’s minds too. He is an abuser. I know it will be hard to do, but you can do it.”
Another agreed, “Please be brave and leave. I was in a very abusive relationship and it was hard to leave, but things got better and I got my self-respect back.” One commented, “Leave before your kids end up doing the same thing when they get older. Either drinking or thinking it’s okay to stay in a relationship like that.” A commenter felt that “He will not change unless he wants to. Most won’t want to unless they hit some kind of a bottom. Like losing their family.”
Others gave their personal experiences where their husband was an alcoholic and stole from them, and they all still told her to leave. One shared, “Sweetie, my ex-husband started out the same way. Within a few years, he was throwing things, destroying my cell on purpose, leaving me stranded with no vehicle for days on end. It all culminated with him stealing our rent money from my purse. When I denied him access to any more money, he punched the bed next to my head (within 2 inches of my face) and I put a restraining order on him.”
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