A mom writes in asking for advice. Her husband is lazy every time he gets home from work and it is driving her crazy. He believes that being a stay at home mom is nothing. Whenever she asks him to help out, he responds by saying that he is the one to pay for the house, so he gets to relax when he wants. She is struggling because she never gets to relax with all the responsibilities she has. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“Okay, so I know a high percentage of relationships/marriages end in divorce because of finances. My fiance and I just had a fight over it. I understand we need money in order to have a place to live. But he acts like I don’t have a job too. I’m a stay at home mom. As soon as he gets home, he just is lazy. Leaves dirty socks everywhere and lays down or goes out with his friends while I’m literally indoors 95% of the time picking up after him while taking care of our 4-month old.
I have nicely asked him countless times to just put stuff where it needs to go and his response is that he’s the one putting a roof over our heads and wants to relax when he’s home. News flash I don’t get to relax! I rarely get to take breaks because I have a job too. I never say mine is more important than his or throw it in his face that I’m raising our daughter. I’m looking for advice on what to do.”
Community Advice for This Mom Needing a Break
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice for this mom was very supportive. Most commenters felt that her husband shouldn’t just be lazy after he gets home from work, but rather should help out where he can. They offered many great suggestions for this mom. One said, “Go on strike. Stop doing most of what you do throughout the day for the sake of relaxation and see what he has to say about it. If it’s an issue, tell him that’s how you feel when he gets home. Explain that he’s not the only one who needs time for himself.”
Another shared, “Don’t pick up his dirty clothes! If dirty clothes don’t make it into the hamper, then don’t wash them.” One commented, “Make a list of everything you do every day and tell him you are going to start charging for everything you do every day for free.” Some felt she should get a job if things don’t change. A commenter stated, ” Start making some demands of your own and if he doesn’t comply then get a job.”
Others shared their personal experiences similar to this mom. One said, “I am a stay at home mom and I don’t mind cleaning up after my hubby. Like you said it’s my job, so it’s what I signed up for when we talked about me leaving work to care for our child.” Another shared, “My hubby works two jobs, and I work one 20 hours a week. The rest of the time I’m keeping up with our two kids, but I guess I’m lucky because he still helps me around the house.”
However, a couple felt that being a stay at home mom is her duty to clean up after her husband. One commented, “I guess it depends on how much he works and what he does for a job. Also, general house stuff is fair for you to do since that’s your job. But, he should at least pick up his socks and not just come home and throw stuff all over. If I didn’t have to work at all I wouldn’t mind doing most of the household chores.”
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