A mom writes in asking for advice. She wonders if she should let her 18-year-old have sleepovers at her boyfriend’s house. As uncomfortable as she is with the idea, her daughter is 18-years-old and is considered a legal adult. Her boyfriend is not allowed to sleepover at their house, but his parents are okay with it at his place. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“My daughter is 18 and has had a boyfriend for a year now. She is on birth control. Her boyfriend is not allowed to sleep here, but his parents are okay if she were to sleep there. Would you let her sleepover at her boyfriend’s house occasionally? I’m not comfortable with it, but she is 18 and a legal adult.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Anxious About Her Daughter’s Sleepovers
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Advice for this mom was very split. Some felt that she should let her 18-year-old daughter have sleepovers with her boyfriend since she is an adult. One said, “There is no question of letting her. She’s an adult and it’s her choice now,” while another stated, “She is an adult. Treat her like one. You can’t control her forever.” Another commenter said, “In your house, if you don’t like the idea of him sleeping over, then no. At his house, if his parents are okay with it, then I’d be fine with it on weekends.”
Others felt that she should not let her go. One shared, “No. I’m my opinion, which is what you asked for, they should not do sleepovers at either of the parent’s houses. Who knows if that is going to be the person they will marry or not, but parents shouldn’t make the teenage relationship bigger than what it will or won’t be.” Another agreed and said, “Sorry I’m not an advocate for children having premarital sex. I say definitely no. I see an unemployed baby daddy living in your house in the future.”
Some commenters gave more advice on what to do in that situation, including communication. One shared, “She’s 18, on birth control and hopefully got a good enough head on her shoulders to do the sensible thing. If you’re uncomfortable, have a chat with her before she goes and makes your concerns clear and what you’d hope for her to remember. Then let her go. Just keep communication open and hopefully, she’ll trust you and ask for your opinion and talk to you when she needs you.”
Many commenters felt that if she lives in the mom’s house then it is the mom’s rules. One said, “If she’s in your house, she has to abide by your rules or find a way to support herself. I would never allow it.” Another commented, “Well if she is 18 now then she is an adult. So technically she can do what she wants but I would rather them stay at my house then her go to his house. Learn to trust her. It will go a long way.” Another shared, “Under your house, she’s still under your rules.”
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