dad doesn't spend time with his family

My Husband Barely Spends Any Time With Our Family. I’m almost Ready to Leave. What Should I Do?

A mom writes in asking for advice. She and her husband have a four-month-old baby girl. The problem is that her husband spends all of his free time either texting or hanging out with his twin brother. This mom feels like she gets no appreciation or help: as soon as he gets off of work he goes to play cards with this brother. She’s fed up with his behavior. What should she do?

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A member of the community asks:

“Am I being too harsh? My husband is a twin. He works 12-hour shifts and as soon as he gets off, he goes to play cards with his brother. He doesn’t come see me and our daughter, but rushes over to his brothers.

He is on the phone texting/messaging his brother literally 24/7. I get no attention from him or appreciation. I’m getting sick of it. Our daughter is only four-months-old and he never helps with her because he’s too busy texting his brother or playing games with his brother. I feel like saying grow the **** up! I almost want to leave him. Any advice?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who’s Husband Spends Almost No Time With The Family

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Most commenters felt that the only way for the OP to know what’s really going on for her husband is to sit down and have a real conversation with him. Many advised that with twins, the bond is different and you need to accept that the brother will likely play a large role in your life. But, that the husband needs to recognize and respect the needs of his wife and baby.

There were a lot of suggestions about how to compromise here. One commenter suggested the following schedule: “How about this? Once a week he goes to play cards. Once a week brother comes to play cards at y’alls house, but they are not allowed to ignore you and the baby (play with them). Once a week you make dinner while they watch the baby/ or vice versa they make dinner you watch baby. And best of all, once a week you get to go out and they stay with the baby. The rest of the week (3 days) dad has to come home and adult.”

Another commenter said: “You need to sit down and explain he has a family of his own now. Of course his relationship with his brother is extremely important but so is yours and the one with his daughter. He needs to find a healthy balance.”

OP: we wish you luck having this conversation with your husband and hope it goes well for you!

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