A mom writes in asking for advice. She is pregnant on bed rest and has no support around her. Her partner left her when she was 10 weeks pregnant. She moved to another country for this guy, so she has no family close by. She has pulmonary embolisms so she is in the hospital on bed rest. He won’t answer any of her calls, and she feels so lonely. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“I am currently 6 1/2 months pregnant. My ex-partner left when I was ten weeks, and I am really struggling. We had a fantastic relationship and went through a bad patch for like two weeks. It ended badly. I’ve been very ill since I got pregnant. I somehow got pulmonary embolisms. He hasn’t come to see me in the hospital nor attended any appointments.
I have probably over contacted him to try and keep him involved. I hate the thought of my baby not being raised in a happy household. So then this week I received a solicitor’s letter stating to please stop contacting my client and that I even called him 14 times in one day. I did regrettably do this because that day I was admitted to the high dependency unit with the blood clots. It also states he will be a dedicated father once the baby is born and has ‘reserved any parental rights’.
I just don’t understand I’ve been nothing but probably too nice to him since we split. It’s worth noting I moved countries for this relationship, so my support network is minimal and I’m really struggling. It doesn’t help I’ve been put on sick leave till after the baby is born, so the days are long. I just want to make things as amicable as possible or has it just gone past that? It’s really destroying me. I just want support and someone to be there with me through this. My heart breaks for the baby. I can’t move home as I can’t travel for medical reasons. Any advice, please?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom in Need of Support
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
All of the advice for this mom was very encouraging. The commenters all told her to find a way to go home and see her family, despite being pregnant on bed rest. One said, “Don’t bother with him. Get to your family for support as soon as possible. Don’t contact him when the baby is born either.” Another suggested, “See if a family member can come out and help you until you have the baby. Then after some time to rest and heal move back home to raise the baby near a bigger support system.”
Others told her to relax and everything will work out. One shared, “Best to be on your own sweetie. Calm down and take a minute or two and think things out. He has let you know where he stands, so you are better than that. The hospital always has people you can talk to and they can help.” Another agreed, “There will be counseling available and social workers can get that sorted for you.”
Another said to just leave the dad out of her family from now on since she is pregnant and on bed rest. She said, “Stop contacting him. In time he may message you but if you keep contacting him he won’t. I don’t think you’re crazy because I would do the same thing if placed in your position considering the circumstances you are in. I think you should focus on yourself, your health and your baby.”
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