Should I Allow Other Family Members to Spank My Daughter?

A mom writes in asking for advice. Her husband allows other family members to spank their daughter. However, this mom views it as a last resort and should only be done by her and their father. She feels there are better discipline resorts such as time out and chores. She also feels uncomfortable that other family members are disciplining her daughter. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“So my when it comes to discipline, I view spanking as a very last resort, and to due it with a clear mind, no anger. Other forms of discipline exist, and I think those should be approached before any else. For example physical training (wall sits, laps, etc), time out, and chores. Anyway, my husband wants to give rights to my daughter’s aunts and uncles, and also grandparents to spank her. But I firmly believe if she gets spanked, it should be by me or her father only! What are your opinions on this, please?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Worried about Discipline

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary


Editor’s Note: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents do not use spanking or other forms of corporal punishment as it may lead to aggressive behavior and impact the parent-child bond. Instead, the AAP suggests “healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, limit setting, redirecting, and setting future expectations.Read more about the AAP’s suggestions here.

The advice was mostly in favor of the mom. Most commenters felt like other family members should not be allowed to spank their daughter. One said, “Just you and the father. The family can take it too far.” Another shared, “Dad and mom only have spanking rights. If you have to, tell them you’ll sue them for assault!” One commented, “You are absolutely right. No one, not even family, has the right to endorse any form of capital punishment on your child. Stand your ground and protect your child.”

Other commenters agreed with only parents spanking. One shared, “I agree it will teach her not to trust grownups.” Another agreed, “Discipline won’t work if it’s not constant. If one person lets the child get away with something and the other corrects the child is going to be confused.” One commented, “I think you and your husband need to sit down and have a real heart to heart on discipline. You need to be on the same page.”

Some commenters felt like it was okay for certain members. One said, “Only certain people such as my mom. She is around my son constantly and knows how I discipline.” Another agreed, “I only allow the grandparents to do this. Other than me and their dad, no one else. Especially if the grandparents keep them every once in a while. If my kids are going to be in their home then they need to mind them also and also have the same punishments we give them.”

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