Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important questions. Thoughtful answers. This is our Community Questions feature!
A member of our community aks:
“So I’m a 27-year-old mother of 2 and I’m trying to make a big decision and I need some help, advice, opinions, anything. Obviously ultimately the choice I make is mine, but I am curious if anyone else has felt this way.
My husband and I have two boys. Our oldest is almost 4 years old and our youngest is only 5 months. I always thought I wanted to have 3 children but now I’m very indecisive. My first boy was a walk in the park. He hardly cried or fussed and could entertain himself. Now with my second, it’s the complete opposite. He fusses a lot and doesn’t like to be left alone for more than five minutes it seems.
I feel like I’m always stressed out over something and seem to lose my cool very easily. I don’t know if I’m going through PPD or if I’m still trying to get a handle on things now with two kids.
I’ve always said I wanted to have my kids by the time I turn 30. But now I don’t know if I really want to have any more. I don’t want to be put on birth control. I feel like by the time I would decide to have another it would be too late. Should I just get my tubes tied? Am I just stressing out too much over it? Should I try for our third? So many questions to ask and I’m stressing myself out just trying to think about what to do.”
After sharing this question with the Mamas Uncut Facebook community, many people chimed in with really great advice. Here are 7 of our favorite answers.
“I’d give myself some more time. Your little one is still completely dependent upon you. He will be growing out of that phase before too much longer. And then when you are not so frazzled you can make such an important decision. Don’t rush into it.”
Time and Options
“I’m pregnant with my third and I’m 36. You don’t need to make a permanent decision right after having a baby. You’ll change your mind a thousand times. Focus on the two you have and get on the pill or use another form on BC.”
Talk to Your Partner
“I would say, if you’re uncertain, to have your partner get a vasectomy instead of you getting your tubes tied. Tying your tubes is very costly, and if you ever decide to untie them it cost a lot to reverse as well. Meanwhile, a vasectomy is a walk-in/walk-out procedure and isn’t as expensive to have done or reversed. That would give you time to think about if you want another child or prefer to stay with your 2.”
A Different Kind of Birth Control
“Maybe try a non-hormonal birth control until you’re completely decided upon what you want to do. Good luck mama and congrats on the new baby!”
“30 pretty young for permanent birth control. Too many things can change in your future. Leaving yourself an open option is best.”
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Matt is a writer, editor, and content strategist currently based in Washington state. He has worked as a managing editor for the iconic I Can Has Cheezburger, Celebuzz (a SpinMedia site), and now Mamas Uncut. He also acted as the Social Media Director for CafeMom.
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