A first-time-mom is having trouble stopping her one-month-old baby from crying every time she has to be put down. Other moms who’ve lived through the same thing share some great advice on how to handle this all-too-common situation.
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers. Let’s hear from the community!
A member of the Mamas Uncut Facebook community asks:
“I have a one-month-old baby, and she won’t stop crying every time I put her in her cot. If she’s asleep, she will wake up within two minutes. I can’t soothe her unless I pick her up; otherwise, she just keeps going.
I understand she may be going through a leap, but I’m going slightly bananas. I’ve had to have my sister come over and hold her just so I can have two minutes to shower. I’m a single first-time-mum, so it’s becoming impossible for me to do anything. Anyone had this and can help? Thanks in advance.”– Mamas Uncut Community Member
The community rushed in and left hundreds of comments with helpful suggestions. We’ve highlighted some of these below.
“I have a 2-month-old that’s the same way. I use the Moby Wrap so I can get stuff done around the house. She’s still being held snug, so she’s happy.”
“Try one of those slings or a carrier that you wear. That way they still get the feeling of being held, but it will free up your hands to be able to get some stuff done. Good luck, Mama!”
“Try putting her in a bouncer or something and leaving the shower curtain open so she can see you. Yeah, it will get water everywhere, but my daughter is the same way. My daughter doesn’t have the ‘sleeping in her own bed’ problem anymore though, so that’s something your child may outgrow. My daughter does sleep with me sometimes still, but usually only when she doesn’t feel good or just wants her mommy and daddy.”
Many Votes for Swaddling and Baby-Wearing
“Try swaddling her. When my son was 3 weeks old, he went through a leap with cluster feeding and wanting to be cuddled all the time. I started swaddling him again and it worked. He let me put him down when he fell asleep and stayed asleep for an hour or so.”
“She might be gassy. Do you swaddle her? Swaddles make her feel like she’s being held tight. Also try a baby swing.”
“Contrary to popular belief, you won’t spoil your baby by holding her. She’s only a month old she needs to feel safe and secure. Get a sling or a wrap and wear her. Not in the shower obviously, but bring her into the bathroom with you in a bouncer or rocker. No baby ever suffered from being loved too much. As frustrating and exhausting as babies are, her behaviour sounds perfectly normal.”
“If you’re having trouble getting things done around the house, try using a snuggly. My LO was the same. I would wear a snuggly so I could clean and get things done.”
“If she likes being held, maybe try swaddling her? She may like being wrapped up to feel more secure. But make sure it’s safe swaddling, no loose blankets.”
At This Age, Crying Might Just Come With the Territory
“She’s only a month old, mama. You have to remember that she’s spent most of her life on the inside and that it’s scary in this big cold world to her. Babywearing works wonders! And if she only sleeps a few minutes at a time when you put her down then I suggest mastering quick showers (or learn to shower in parts: hair this nap, shave during that nap, wash your body during another). If you have a bouncy seat or swing, you could set them up where you can see her while you shower. It gets easier but right now, she’s needing the comfort of your touch and heartbeat.”
“My baby was the same way until about 4 months. At some point, you just have to let them cry for a few minutes to get something done. It sucks but as long as they’re fed, have a clean diaper, and no medical issues, she’ll be ok!”
“A month old is so young. You gotta realize shes used to being held nonstop inside of you for 9 months. It’s not just gonna stop instantly. You gotta ween her off slow. I know it’s hard. Swaddle her good, and hold her while she still lets you.”
If It Persists, Ask Your Doctor About Things Like Colic and Acid Reflux (GERD)
“Give her a bit of gripe water, swaddle her, lay her on her belly on your legs and rub her back. The little bit of pressure on her belly will help with the colic. There’s also the football hold, and try pushing her feet up against your belly while massaging her tummy to move some of the gas bubbles around to relieve some of the gas. Also, it depends on how much she eats. If you’re that frustrated, then put her in her bed and walk away and let her cry for a few minutes to calm yourself down. There’s nothing wrong with her crying. “A calm mom means calm baby, frustrated mom means frustrated baby.” Alternate things to help: going for a drive helps move the bubbles and soothes her. But as a single mom of 2 (and my mom being a single mom of 3), yes, it’s hard. But you can figure out the best way for colicky babies.”
“My son was that way from 2 weeks old until around 5 months old. I was told he had colic and followed every step necessary as told by doctors to help with it, but nothing would help. The only relief came around month 5 when my brother brought us his son’s old swing and that was literally the only way I was able to get anything done. Years later I was reading an article about reflux in babies and my son had every sign/symptom of it, basically the same things you’re describing as well. It could be your baby has it.”
Once again, there’s just so much good advice here! We think all of this is worth a try:
- Try swaddling
- Try wearing the baby so she can feel safe AND you can get stuff done
- Look into products (baby seats, bouncers, wraps, loveys, etc.) that might help with nap time
- Give it some time (she’s only a month, after all!)
- If problems persist, talk to your doctor
We know how hard it is, Mama. We wish you and your new baby the best of luck. Cheers to peaceful naps… soon!
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Matt is a writer, editor, and content strategist currently based in Washington state. He has worked as a managing editor for the iconic I Can Has Cheezburger, Celebuzz (a SpinMedia site), and now Mamas Uncut. He also acted as the Social Media Director for CafeMom.