mom has separation anxiety when leaving her baby

I Get Separation Anxiety When I’m Apart From My 2-Month-Old. My Partner Says I’m Being Selfish. What Should I Do?

A mom writes in asking for advice. She is a first-time mom with a two-month-old. She says that she didn’t suffer from postpartum depression, but she’s having anxiety when separated from her baby. She doesn’t even have to be far away; she was at a doctor’s appointment and her baby was with family in the lobby and she kept thinking she was hearing her cry. Her significant other thinks she’s just making excuses and being selfish. Any advice for this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“Hey mamas! I’m a first-time mom. I didn’t get postpartum depression, but I have separation anxiety. I have a 2-month-old. I’ve tried getting myself to be comfortable with the idea of letting the little one stay at grandma’s for a while, but my anxiety is through the roof.

My significant other thinks it’s just an excuse and I’m being selfish. I’m not exaggerating. I tested it out when I went to my doctor’s appointment by leaving her in the lobby to be watched by family. I was pacing the room and kept hearing her crying in my head. I carried this little being inside me for 10 months and now I’m being told I’m selfish for not being able to part from her. Please give thoughts!

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Gets Separation Anxiety When Apart From Her Baby

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Advice for this OP was pretty unanimous: everything the OP is feeling is normal, she absolutely isn’t selfish and if she isn’t ready to be away from her baby, that’s OK. “My son didn’t spend the night anywhere until he was over the age of one,” says one commenter. “It’s a personal choice. You aren’t wrong for protecting your little one by keeping the baby close at this very delicate time in its life.”

Another commenter said: “My son is two-and-a-half and I’m forever hearing that I need to let someone else watch him and take a break. He stayed the night with my sister once so I could go out with my husband and I couldn’t enjoy myself because I was too worried about him having some freak accident. He goes with me everywhere. You have to do what makes you comfortable. They’re only small for a short time!”

Other commenters cautioned that while it’s totally normal to not want to leave your baby, you want to make sure you’re still finding some time for yourself so you can recharge and be the best mom. “It’s okay to have anxiety about leaving her. It’s perfectly normal. But you’ve gotta be able to have a moment for yourself or you’ll go crazy,” advised one commenter. “Only leave her with people you trust and are comfortable with. Start out with short visits and you’ll be fine. Just give yourself some time.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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