My Husband Sometimes Yells at Our Daughter and I Dislike It: Should I Leave Him?

A mom writes in asking for advice after her husband’s anger issues have started to be directed at their 8-month-old daughter. The mom says her husband will sometimes tell their daughter to “shut up” when she’s crying. And while it might not be a big deal now, she’s afraid her husband’s verbal abuse will be detrimental to their daughter’s emotional well-being later in life. Now she’s wondering if she should leave her husband to avoid what may come in the future?

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A member of the community asks:

“My husband is a good father when he is good. We had our daughter eight months ago. He has been very loving, attentive, caring, since birth. However, he struggles with his temper in general. He sees an anger therapist (per my request) as he often has one reaction (anger) to anything. He has never physically assaulted me or anyone, but emotional/verbal can be bad enough. He does not do this every day, but whenever he is frustrated, he will get upset.

Most recently, he watches our daughter when I go to work, and he wakes up with her primarily. He will get frustrated at her at times when she is crying and tell her to shut up or knock it off. I yell at him, but this is rare for him to do. When I do, he tells me I am overreacting and that it’s really not a big deal. I have given him an ultimatum, he needs to work on it, or he needs to leave. I don’t fear of him hurting her, but I do fear eventually his words will hurt her. It is one thing to do [it] to me, [it’s] another to do [it] to her…I will not stand for that. My question is, what would you do?

Please don’t judge too harshly for either party… I am just trying to figure out what to do for my marriage and my daughter…Daycare is not an option. Neither is quitting my job as I make the majority of the money. I just feel sad and lost. I love my husband, but my daughter comes first…”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who’s Sad and Lost About Her Husband’s Behavior

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

One commenter suggested getting her husband more help. She wrote, “My husband was like this. I ended up sending him to a psychiatrist and he ended up on antidepressants. It has helped a hell of a lot. But he was also diagnosed with severe [postpartum depression]. Yes, guys can get it.”

Another mom said it would probably be best for her to leave, “She is 8 months old, I repeat only 8 months. She doesn’t do anything to be bad. She cries when she has a need. What do you think he’s going to do the first time she spills her food, pulls out the DVDs, or messes with the TV. Or when she is three and has a little attitude. It’s only a matter of time before he loses his temper and hurts her.”

And one woman wrote, “If he does that in front of you I would be concerned about what he does when you’re are not around.”

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