A mom writes in asking for advice about whether she should start a new relationship. She is no longer with the father of her three children, and she is interested in seeing someone new, but she is worried about how her family will feel or if it will affect her kids.
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A member of the community asks:
“Should I see someone else? I know, as a mother, my kids come first. I love them; they are 5, 2, and 10 months. I was with the father of my kids back and forth and finally, after suffering for years, I decided to leave him for good. It been one year since then.
Would it look wrong if I began a relationship with someone? The guy I am interested in knew me when I had my first kid. We stopped talking, but he says he still wants to be with me after having two more kids? I know it is my decision, but I don’t know if my family would take it wrong or tell me that it’s too soon or that I should worry about my kids.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Worried if She Starts Dating Again It Will Be Bad for Her Kids
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“You deserve to be happy.”
“Worry about your kids. You have 3 kids; you won’t possibly have time to date. I’m a stay at home mum with a husband and we don’t even have time for date nights. Good luck though.”
“Do what makes you happy, if he’s willing to work with you having kids he sounds like a winner.”
“No one else lives your life but YOU! Do what you believe is right for you and YOUR kiddos. Blended families are hard… IMO personally best to introduce when kiddos are young versus teens (if possible)… Weigh out the pros & cons, take it slow. Set some boundaries. If it becomes unhealthy for either side, then move on.”
“A year is a decent amount of time.”
“You can be in a relationship and avoid him being around your kids for a bit. It’s hard but possible. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business if you want to date but I do think you shouldn’t bring him around your kids for a while.”
“I would say your kids come first always. However, you have to think about yourself and your happiness because your kids need a happy mama. Take your time, you need to make sure the guy you’re seeing is worth it.”
“Doesn’t matter how it looks, dear… no one else is living your life, raising your babies, or feeling your feels. If you’re worried about being mom-shamed, well.. you probably will be. There seems to be a whole slew of women (and men) who think they set the bar on motherhood. They’re everywhere and they have a false sense of importance that they want everyone else to fall under. However, you did ask for opinions, so I’m sure you’ll get them. Ask yourself this: if you weren’t worried about what others are thinking, would you go for it? The answer to that is the opinion that matters the most.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
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Matt is a writer, editor, and content strategist currently based in Washington state. He has worked as a managing editor for the iconic I Can Has Cheezburger, Celebuzz (a SpinMedia site), and now Mamas Uncut. He also acted as the Social Media Director for CafeMom.