I’m Struggling So Badly I’m Beginning to Believe My Family Would Be Better Off Without Me: Advice, Please?

A mom writes in asking for advice about her mental health. She says she is struggling and has reached a boiling point and feels ready to “explode.” She feels like she is not good enough for her family, has never been good enough for her family. She wonders if her kids’ lives would be better without her in them. She is looking for support and advice; can you help?

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A member of the community asks:

“I am having a hard time and I feel like I am going to explode: Advice?

I’m having a hard time guys. Everything’s building up to a point I feel I’m going to explode or something. I just took a vacation, I thought it would calm my nerves around everyone, and I’d be able to relax, but I just can’t let up. I don’t feel like I’m good enough for these kids. Never good enough, and when I look back, it hadn’t just been for this family, but I was never good enough for anyone before either.

My dad didn’t want me; my mom, I don’t even know about her, my immediate family, hardly knows me, I don’t really have friends. Everyone always leaves, I’m wondering if my kids would be better off without me, permanently, and I’m thinking about the easiest way to do that. At this point, if everyone left before, what’s to stop everyone leaving now. All I wanted to be any type of acceptance from the “loved ones” around me. They’ll probably be happier anyway.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Struggling and Believes Her Family Would Be Better Off Without Her

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionI am having a hard time and I feel like I am going to explode: Advice?I'm having a hard time guys,…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Sunday, May 24, 2020

Advice Summary

I'm Struggling So Badly I'm Beginning to Believe My Family Would Be Better Off Without Me: Advice, Please?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“Your kids’ lives are better with you in it… Trust me, they need you and love you. Who would be there to for them if it wasn’t for you? Please message me. I’m up and awake and you can trust me to vent to me. I’ll be your friend. You’re not alone.”

“I felt this, I felt like a burden and that it wouldn’t matter if I died. I actually nearly did die tho, and everyone came to visit me and the joy I saw people have just because I was still here was an eye-opener for me. Those feelings you’re having are NOT true, you ARE loved and you ARE wanted and valuable. Please seek help, because I can guarantee you that you’re wrong and you are so incredibly loved you just don’t realize it right now.”

“If you kill yourself, your children will feel abandoned just like you do right now. Take yourself to the hospital for voluntary commitment in psych. You are not well right now and there’s no shame in seeking treatment for a happy and healthy life for you and your children…

… But do NOT put your children in the same cycle you got put into by your parents. My brother killed himself this December and I feel so robbed of time with him. My first thought was how could he do that to his son? Please seek professional help right away.”

“You are projecting your own feelings of worthlessness on others and creating an internal narrative that they do not love or care about you. This is your “story” your mind has created based on your past traumas. It isn’t true. Other people are not responsible for, or even able to, “make” you feel loved. They show you love in their best way, and it is up to you to see it and believe that. It sounds like you really need to work through your unresolved traumas so that you can accept love from others and they can feel your love in return.”

“I felt this so hard! You need to talk to your Dr sweetie. You probably have anxiety and depression. They will put you on meds, and that’s OK! I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, they put me on meds and it worked. I ended up pregnant about a year after and stopped taking them…

… Now I’m back on medication and am waiting to get in to talk to a therapist. I always thought, why can’t I just fix it myself. Didn’t want to be on meds. But it helped. And it can help you too! Your kids love you and as much as you think they don’t need you, they do, very much! You are their world, momma. Good luck to you.”

“I read something once. Suicide doesn’t end your suffering, it just passes it along to someone else…..which would be your kids. Call someone and get help.”

If you or a loved one is dealing with suicidal thoughts or depression, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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