There’s a Huge Age Gap Between My Three Older Kids and My New Baby, and I’m Struggling: Is That Normal?

A mom writes in asking for advice about the age gap between her kids. She is a mother-of-four; three of her four kids are teenagers or pre-teens. Her newest child is an 11-month-old infant. That makes the age gap between her youngest child and second-oldest kid more than 10 years. This mom has been struggling, and she is unsure why. She has raised three kids, but this fourth one seems harder. Is it due to the age gap? Any advice for her?

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A member of the community asks:

“Anyone else have a huge age gap with their kids?

I’m 33 with four kids. 17, 15, 11, and an 11-month-old. My 11-month-old doesn’t like sleeping at night. She hasn’t since she has been born! Up always every 2-3 hours. She’s been tough and this first year has been hard.

My question is, has anyone else had a big age gap between having their last child and a new one? I feel like she is so much harder, and I’m not sure why? I feel like I’m failing over and over with her. I’m just struggling. Not sure why?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Wondering if the Age Gap in Her Children’s Ages Is Making Her Life as a Mom Harder

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionAnyone else have a huge age gap with their kids?I'm 33 with four kids .17,15 and an 11-year-old and an…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Thursday, May 21, 2020

Advice Summary

There's a Huge Age Gap Between My Three Older Kids and My New Baby, and I'm Struggling: Is That Normal?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“My son is 26 and my daughter is 12. Honestly, she was harder until she hit probably 6 or so and she got that little bit of independence. He was easy from day one. She was born in the car and has always done things on her schedule!”

“I’m 38 with 4. Twins age 12, 9, and our 16-month-old. The baby has been the hardest from pregnancy on. She has never eaten well, still doesn’t. Never slept well, still doesn’t. Always been moody and needy, still is. I also feel like I’m failing her. Even my twins weren’t this hard. I feel like me being older and more tired has a lot to do with it but I’m trying my best. That is all we can do.”

“My brother and I are 16 years apart, no other kids between, before or after. I think it’s just important to to remember that every kid is different. What worked for your others might not work for her. You’re doing better than you think you are. Hang in there.”

“Mine are 9 years 11 months and 1 week apart. No kids in between. I love it. Oldest is ADHD/ASD. Had I had them closer together, I would have blown my brains out. She wasn’t even safe to have another child in the house with until she was like… 8? And then it took me another year to wrap my head around the possibility of having a second one like her. He’s only 1 so we don’t know yet.”

“Mine are 2 years apart and I feel the same way about my second born. So I feel like age gaps don’t matter. My first was and is a pretty good sleeper. My youngest still isn’t the best sleeper and literally just started sleeping through the night (most nights) recently, and she will be 3 in July.”

“I have a 2-and-a-half-year-old and a 4-month-old. The gaps not that big, but I feel the same. You forget how hard a newborn is. You’re older, and when kids get older they’re so much fun and can do things themselves. Just hang in there. You know how quickly they grow up!!!”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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