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QUESTION: I think my boyfriend cheated and has a baby with another woman: What should I do?
“I think my boyfriend cheated and has a baby with another woman. Been in a relationship for six years. I have four kids. My youngest is from my boyfriend. A year ago, a girl started hearting all his photos. He said she was just a friend he spoke to, but that’s it. We broke up for four months, and now that we are back together.
They are still talking when I went to her Facebook; she has a baby, and it has the same last name as my boyfriend. He told me that it’s not his and it’s from her first son’s dad, but he’s a very big support system for me. My 3 other kids look at him as their father. I don’t know what to think…”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Honestly I would message her and ask and try to find the so-called father of the baby call him to give you the baby’s father’s first name and prove that it’s not him to see that he has the same last name.”
“You in your heart already know the truth. I am sorry for your hurt. if you cant accept it and be at peace with it you should just leave for your own peace. it Isn’t going to change.”
“I’m thinking if the child really does have his last name she isn’t much for trying to hide it. Ask her. The last name alone would be of cause for you to ask her.”
“Tell that you need him to prove it, and if he can’t it’s over. It’s extremely fishy. If it’s truly not his kid, he will go to great lengths to prove it. Birth certificates are of public record, so get the child’s legal name and DOB and go to your county’s public records department. Even if that child was conceived on your break, he hasn’t been truthful. If was conceived outside of your break, well…”
“Sounds to me like the problem with the other girl started a year ago. She found out . During this year, they broke up for 4 months . But the other girl also got pregnant and had the baby during all this time. Which makes sense. Whether or not it’s an issue of him cheating, if he was seeing her while you were broken up then I agree he was not cheating. However, if he cheated. You broke up because of it then got back together, he now has a baby …. hes lying to you and knows, if he is interactive with her , even if about the baby, hes now cheating because he is lying and keeping another child from you. He needs to man up and tell you the truth about what is going on.
If the child has his last name, well you can’t just give a child any last name. It has to be the mother or father’s name. And he would have to be aware. So it’s emotional cheating at this point. But girl, you need to find out the truth. I know you have a child with him too and your other children look up to him. But he’s no role model and you and your kids don’t need a lying loser in your life who will only hurt you. Do what needs to be done and find out facts.”
“Ask her, if you think hes lying! Sounds to me if they have the same last name then, it isnt just a coincidence!!”
“Same last name means its his kid. Either confront him and make him get a DNA test or leave him.”
“Do you mean you think he cheated on you before you broke up and then she had the baby when you guys were broken up? Is the last name a common last name? I wouldn’t jump to conclusions I would talk to the mother of the baby but do not let your boyfriend know you are going to talk to her otherwise if the baby really is his he will probably tell her to deny it to you.”
“Give your kids a better example. You know in your heart that his kid it sounds like. Why get back together with him? If you got girls show them not to settle for that. If you got boys show them that ain’t the man to be. Think of your kids and the future, not the present”
“Personally if I was you ask the female if he can’t be honest but for the baby to have his last name it clearly means something.”
“Ask her or do a DNA test. Only way to get to the truth. But either way, you can’t be mad because y’all were broke up so it wasn’t cheating.”
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