A 13-year-old recently took to Reddit looking for advice after their father was alienating them from their mother on Mother’s Day.
“My dad is mad at me because I didn’t get him a gift or card or even say happy fathers day,” the OP began.
“The only reason I didn’t do anything for Father’s Day was because my dad has banned me from talking to my mom (who is actually my ex stepmom but she’s been in my life since I was 4 and I’m 13 now, and my bio mom isn’t really around much) since they got divorced. He says it’s because she’s “toxic” but wouldn’t say why or anything.”
The situation escalated from there.
“I’ve tried to talk to him and try and make a compromise or something but he’s really stubborn so I started trying to text her without him knowing but he monitors my phone and laptop so he found out. On Mother’s Day, I asked him if I could just say Happy Mother’s Day and he took my phone and laptop away so I couldn’t. He said she’s not my mom so why would I tell her Happy Mother’s Day.”
And so the OP did the best next thing they could think of — they fought fire with fire.
“So I decided since I couldn’t do anything for my mom on Mother’s Day it was only fair that I don’t do anything for my dad on fathers day but he got so angry about it. He said I was being petty and childish and he deserves a day but my mom doesn’t because she isn’t raising me now (which is only because he won’t let me see her).”
Many users were appalled by the father’s behavior.
One user commented: “NTA. Oh my sweet baby. I am so sorry you have to go through this. What your father is doing is unfair and quite frankly, he absolutely deserves what you did. You are at a tough age right now with your parental relationships and your own development and ambitions. Seek support and advice from wherever you can and never be afraid to ask for help.”
While another said: “NTA OP and I’m sending you sympathy and hugs. Is it possible to find a way to sit down with your dad and tell him that he’s really hurting you by not letting you have access to your mom? Maybe tell him that if she really did do something that makes it not safe for you to be around, that you would really like to know because right now you just don’t understand and it hurts?”
The user continued, concluding with: “You may even want to write a letter about how you’re feeling, and share it with him. I don’t think not celebrating Father’s Day was an inappropriate thing to do. It’s coming off as a little bit petty, but he’s also not being a supportive, kind father you are apparently used to, since he’s cut off access to your main mother figure with no real reason. And you don’t want to celebrate him when he’s just been hurting you.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.