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QUESTION: My Friend Got Mad That I Decided To Try For Another Baby: Advice?
“I am 21 years old with an 18-month-old. I haven’t had baby fever since having my 1st baby. Well, now we have decided to take the IUD out and start trying. I am not the type of person to talk about anything to do with my relationship until afterward. Well, last night, I was able to tell one of my girlfriends. Keep in mind just over four months ago; she told me once you become pregnant again, if I haven’t become pregnant, then we can’t talk every day. That I wouldn’t be able to talk to her about it, she has been in my life since I was a baby.
She is my mom’s longest friend, almost like an aunt we have now had a friendship form. I told her that we will be starting to try and that I was scared to tell her because I didn’t want our relationship to change. Well, she is now pissed at me for not telling her before I got my IUD taken out. She is a mama to 1 but has been trying for a second. She said that I wasn’t honest and that it shows how our friendship actually is. Am I wrong to be a little pissed off? I was scared and excited to tell her now; I feel like I lost a friend/aunt because I want to have another baby.”
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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
[between 10 to 15 good responses to question]
“That’s not healthy and she’s not a friend. Better off to not subject yourself to that drama anyway.”
“Don’t let her make you feel bad. Only a BAD friend would say that to someone. She’s jealous, clearly, and is mad that you might get pregnant before her. Very childish. She probably shouldn’t be having anymore children until she grows up a little more.”
“It’s not any of her business and I would tell her you don’t need her permission. Even if she suffers from infertility issues, she doesn’t get to choose your life for you or try to control you. I’d cut her off, especially since there seems to be an age difference and she’s acting incredibly WEIRD.”
“If she’s really your friend she wouldn’t be upset that you want another baby… this is very confusing. What difference does it make you your friend if you have an IUD or a baby… it’s affects her life in no way.”
“None of this is her business .. people only react this way when they are jealous or afraid you will get pregnant first. Very toxic.”
“End that friendship she isn’t a true friend. She is jealous…. when I became pregnant with my son back in 2015 I waited until 12 weeks before I posted on Facebook and one of my best friends got so pissed I didn’t tell her when I found out (at 6 weeks) she stopped talking to me until just last year (and my son will be 6 this year) it’s YOUR life don’t let others make you feel bad.”
“This is a really weird ultimatum considering you already have a child. It sounds like you’re saying that she’s told you that if you get pregnant and she isn’t, she can’t talk to you anymore? That’s really weird. This is not a normal thing to tell someone.”
“That’s really strange. She could at least be happy for you, but instead she makes it about her. Not good of her. I hope you’re able to realize that this relationship is one sided.”
“Sounds like shes very immature and controlling. It’s honestly not her business what you and your partner do and you definitely shouldn’t have to consult with her first.”
“You’re an adult. You don’t need to consult anyone other than your partner about having another baby. Other people opinion is not important. Stay true to yourself.”
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