My Friends Come Over and Act Like They Are in Their Own Home: Thoughts?

A mom writes in asking for advice because she’s not sure how to confront some of her friends and their kids who come over to her home and act like it is their own. The mom explained that they often raid her fridge and cupboards without asking and often leave a mess when they are done. Now she’s asking how she should confront her friends to let them know she doesn’t appreciate how they behave in her home.

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A member of the community asks:

“Hi, I wanted to know what other mothers would do if you have friends that come over and act like they’re home. I have some friends that when they come over, they basically take over my home. They leave a mess everywhere, help themselves to the fridge and cupboards without asking. That includes their kids too. Their kids basically help themselves to anything without asking. My kids have chores to do in the house, and their kids have none what so ever.

One of them even told me that she doesn’t clean her mess, and she’s not my child. I was boiling inside but couldn’t say anything. The mother heard as she was right beside us but didn’t even say anything. I think it’s not fair to my kids to see what their kids are doing when they come over. I have a big heart, and I think that’s my big problem. I don’t know how to approach them or tell them. Thank goodness they don’t come often but when they do… I’m totally drained out mentally.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Upset With How Her Friends and Their Kids Treat Her Home

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Many of the members in our community think this mom just needs to be straight with her friends about what she wants when they enter and leave her home.

One commenter wrote, “Tell the mom straight up, she isn’t invited over bc her kids don’t clean up after themselves. Maybe she doesn’t know. Maybe she takes offense, in that case, she isn’t much of a friend.” And another added, “You have let this happen. You have to stop it now. Just let your friends know in no uncertain terms what you expect. They are just walking all over you. Also, their children need to learn respect. It’s that simple.”

And one other mom explained, “I was like that with my 2 best friends. I had a key to their house and everything but I did clean up mine and my kids’ messes. Now they’re my roommates. Just tell them to stop coming over if they cant clean up after themselves and their kids. And tell them to bring their own snacks or help buy your groceries. They sound like they’re extremely comfortable with you and consider you family. But if you don’t feel the same put a stop to it and lay down some rules for when they come over.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

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