My husband constantly goes through my things and accuses me of cheating: I need advice

My husband and I have been together for 8 years now, and we have kids together. We haven’t had the best relationship; we have split up here and there. The last time we split up, it was because I’ve had enough of his controlling ways. Its always been his way or no way. Well, he is an ex-addict. When we split up, he begged me to take him back, and I wouldn’t do it, so he used to ease the pain he said. That was the first time I have ever left him, all the other times he would leave me for someone else or bc he wanted to party and have fun. We got back together in Dec. Ever since he came back, he hasn’t been the same. He is extremely paranoid; he thinks everyone is trying to set him up and puts him in jail. He thinks I’m in on it too! He will not sleep in the same room as me because he thinks I have cameras set up to watch him. He goes through every receipt I have to try and find something. He will even go as far as to question the kids and ask them what I’ve been doing, or if I’ve had anyone in the house. He goes through my phone, my purse, the car. He even put a recorder in my room to see if I was talking to anyone. He has lost all his friends due to his actions bc he’s even gone as far as to accuse his friends of setting him up and just talking crazy. His friends told me to leave him before he gets worse, and even told me he has been cheating. But he denies ever cheating. He just says I’m the one creating this and that. He just started a couple of months ago, drinking every day all this time. He says really harsh things to hurt me, and most of them are racist things. We are about to have another baby soon, and he cares nothing about this baby as he says it’s not his. We will be sitting in the same room, and he will tell one of the kids to ask me something when I can clearly hear him. He will not go get any kind of help due to the fact that he thinks he is not crazy about being set up or anything. I need advice on how to get him help if his not willing.

1,054 thoughts on “My husband constantly goes through my things and accuses me of cheating: I need advice”

    1. Dayna Voysey could be. I said mental illness because I’ve heard of someone who was diagnosed with a drug induced schizophrenia but that was a long time ago so I’m not sure if they still classify it like that. And yes leave. It’s not worth it

  1. Get out! That’s not normal behavior and it sounds like hes paranoid because he has a guilty conscience. His friends even told you he’s cheating. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

  2. I just want to say, unless hes schizophrenic, paranoia fades in time after an addict stops using. (In most cases) what seems like almost advanced paranoia would suggest to me hes still using.

  3. This is abuse, plain and simple, and not just to you, your kids as well. His drug use and/or mental illness is causing his paranoia and it will only get worse. You should pack up your children and leave before he does something harsher than use his words. Please go before he harms (or worse) you and your children. These relationships never turn out well. You can’t change or help him.

    1. Kathy Harvey An appearance on the Dr. Phil Show would get him some help, but slim chance of getting on. Take the advice of Kathy Harvey. Save yourself and the children.

  4. He’s sleeping separate so he can cheat and use you as the excuse. Maybe he needs mental help and you should habe him committed before he goes completely psycho. These are not normal..

  5. This WILL affect your kids. Leave now. He will not change and your kids are seeing all of this and some day, they may blame you for their messed up childhood because you stayed. Trust me on this. You will never make him believe that you’re not up to no good.

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