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QUESTION: My Husband Won’t Get A Vasectomy Like I Asked Him: Advice?
“I love my significant other we have been together going on for nine years. I have an 11-year-old from a previous relationship, and we have a five and 2-year-old together. I’ve been begging for him to have a vasectomy because I’m happy with the children we have and don’t want to have anymore. I’m happy with the three that we have, plus I’m a working mom and did not feel good during my last pregnancy. He has expressed that he wants one more. I feel he’s being selfish and isn’t considering how pregnancy affects me. I don’t feel I should go get my tunes tied to fix this issue. I’m starting to feel like he really doesn’t care about me.”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“His body his choice, your body your choice. If we want men to stop controlling our uteruses we also have to take personal responsibility for our choices. If you don’t want more children, get on birth control or get your tubes tied.”
“The simple fact that you outright expect him to not only be okay with but go through with something you admit you wouldn’t do yourself. And he’s the selfish one? Seek counseling. You clearly don’t care about his wants or needs but expect him to put yours at the forefront.”
“His body, his choice. You can be upset all you want that your husband won’t do it but it is you that’s done having kids not him. If this was the other way around it would be you’re body, your choice too.”
“He wants another child and it’s not fair that you’re taking that away from him. You have a ton of options for birth control, or you can have a tubal so you don’t have to have any more kids but if he wants to in the future, and you two don’t work out, he’s got every right to not have a vasectomy.”
“If you’re the one who doesn’t want them then I feel like you should be the one preventing it. It’s his body and you’re not respecting his choice.”
“Then don’t have any more kids. Take birth control. But you don’t get to tell someone else what they can do with body.”
“It’s his body his choice not to get a vasectomy just like you don’t want to get your tubes tied. My husband didn’t wanted to get a vasectomy so I got my tubes tied because I knew that I was done having kids.”
“His body, his choice. You don’t like the idea of being forced to have your tubes tied, don’t force him to get snipped. Get on birth control if you really don’t want another baby.”
“His body his choice. If YOU don’t want anymore kids then YOU need to make a decision regarding your OWN body.”
“If you are the one who REALLY doesn’t want to have any more kids, then don’t leave that choice up to him. Get your tubes tied or get one some sort of birth control.”
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