My son no longer wants to visit his father anymore: Advice?

So kinda want advice on where I should start, or I guess if anyone else has experienced anything like this. Little back story, my kid’s dad didn’t come into his life until he was 1. In and out you till I wanna say maybe last year and a half started coming around. I agreed to every other weekend visit bc he was coming around and getting to know him, and we were co-parenting well. Every sense that started back in Jan, he has been a total jerk, ignoring me when I ask how he is when he has him, contacts me to start arguments, tells me not to contact him, or he will call cops. He cut my child’s hair without my permission. My child screams and cries every time its time to go to the house I literally have to force him out the door. He always knew his dad by his first name since. He was never around.. He was more of a friend to him who came by every once in a while.. Well now when he goes there, he is forced to call him dad, and he always tells me he don’t like that… Last weekend he was there he came home telling me one night he was scared crying, wanting to talk to me and that he called me. (Never did call me) Then he kept asking me why I sounded like his dad’s gf. So I had mentioned it to his dad when he came to pick up my son, and he had admitted to having her pretend to be me and said it wasn’t a big deal, nothing I could do and blew it off. So I denied his visit. I’m tired of forcing my child out the door, and his dad not co-parenting at all with me. What’s my next step? My son tells me he does not want to go back. He’s five. I’d rather get it changed to no overnight. I’m fine with his dad being in his life, but he needs to grow up and put out kids first. I know he’s going to file his complaint that I denied him, so I’m trying to get prepared. Sorry, this is so long.

77 thoughts on “My son no longer wants to visit his father anymore: Advice?”

  1. Is there a custody agreement in place? If so you have to go back to court. If not you don’t have to make your child go but be prepared because the father can take you to court to regain visitation. I think your best bet is to get a lawyer and discuss options.

    1. Devon Rushell Pleasant hopefully not but sounds like it because she said he will file against her for denying his visit. Which will be bad on her part regardless of situation. Hopefully someone speaks to the child.

    2. If he does take her 2 court so what he sounds like trouble…if they d t have a court order get urself a GOOD LAWYER who specializes n that!cant afford ask for. Help in ur couny thrs paralegals that do pro bono work gd luck!

  2. Get legal help and fast, if he doesn’t want to see him maybe something else is going on. I’d get it done legally so he can’t force him either.
    If he doesn’t wanna go i wouldn’t make him.
    Do what’s best for him.

  3. No offence but you have already let him stay weekends a judge will laugh and say since he’s already stayed weekends I’m not taking that away. Talk to your son and find out why he doesn’t like it there. A judge will not take away time from a father who wants to be there because they want dads to be there.

  4. Document everything. Get child services involved. Have them investigate what’s going on over there. If he’s that scared of going back then there may be something going on behind closed doors that’s being kept from you. If there’s no custody order, write one up immediately. Something is very fishy about this and of I were you I wouldn’t feel safe sending him back.

  5. Even though he’s 5 if he doesnt want to go and there is no court order then dont make him go if he’s that upset about going. I also have a 5 year old and he visits his dad when he wants whether it be every weekend or every 3 weekends because we dont have anything court ordered. I feel at 5 they are old enough to tell you if something is wrong.

  6. Talk to your child and record the conversation of what your son says to you and take the father to court and if they ask why play he recording of it as the child may be asked to tell it to the judge

  7. You should have never denied his visitation for off. Your son is feeding a lot off op I think. Hair cut? Seriously? Why not thank him for doing that for his son ? As for checking on your child while he has him…why?? No reason to need to literally check on him while hes with him. Let them enjoy their time together. I would annoyed as well…

    1. If you don’t have any advice to actually give you can just move along. With mommy trolling and bitching on a Facebook post instead of being an adult and ignoring it I have my doubts about that.

    2. Meghan Stanton Segal hell and why not chk up on him and as 4 cutting his hair SHOULD ASK FIRST THE BOY LIVES WITH DA MOM. NOT ALL KIDS ACT ALL THAT WITH DAD…T

  8. I’m confused, is it court ordered visitation or not? If so you have to go back to court and if not then don’t make your son go. Children have a way of telling you something is wrong. Maybe abuse of some kind but at 5 he knows he doesn’t like to go over there and doesn’t want to go so don’t make him.

  9. In my own experience kids that have fits like that to visit someone have a reason. It could be as simple as dad yelling or not letting him do something he wants to. However, something else could be going on too. I would sit down with your son and ask him some questions. I would not put ideas into his head. I would ask things like what did you do at dad’s house? Be like that sounds fun, why would you not want to do that? But it does sound odd that your kid can’t call you when he is there. I think i would be concerned too. The haircut isn’t that big of a deal even if it upsets you. My kids dad shaved my son’s beautiful curls right off. I was livid but nothing i could do about it even if I wanted to. But not being there and being in and out cause alot of emotional problems. I’ve been doing it with my kids dad their whole life. We fought in court and even with dcyf backing me and councilors he still got visits. First they were supervised and he kept messing those up, then the judge allowed him weekends. He did one Friday night then ended up back in prison for crimes he commited. He might be paroling out in December and it’s gonna be horrible. In many ways I wish he would stay away. With all the damage he has caused the judge still wants to try and make him parent. Unfortunately it’s just caused so much emotional distress on my kids. They love him but they also fear him. They remember some things but they are so young and kids are resilient when it comes to loving parents who mess up. My point is if your son is acting that way please listen. Its better to be safer and make a mistake instead of sending him and something happens. Good luck.

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