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QUESTION:
“Needing advice. My son is three weeks old and screams and cries when my husband holds him and when he tries to lay him down in his bassinet. But he doesn’t scream when I hold him. It’s very frustrating because my husband is trying to help with him but can’t seem to catch a break with the screaming. He is fed and changed, so we don’t understand why he screams and cries so much with only him. He gets fussy with me, but not like he does with my husband. What can we do to make it easier? My husband will be the one with him all day once I go back to work, and I feel horrible knowing that he just screams with him. Anyone else has this issue before, and if so, how did you fix it?
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Skin to skin to get a better bond if you have a recliner have dad take off his shirt, leave baby in diaper and lay on his chest caverns with a blanket, this also counts as tummy time for baby.”
“Babies sense when someone is uncomfortable with them. Most men were raised not to play with dolls or pretend household & caretaking tasks like us women were. That feeds into their unconscious & causes a discomfort when around children. Even with your husband trying his trained apprehension is still there. Your son senses it. It’s going to real hard to untrain the damage his parents caused. Or for your son to learn to be ok with being uncomfortable, feeling insecure which is how he feels with him. I wish I had advise for you. However you can fix this with your son by allowing him to be comfortable around babies from a very young age. Let him take care of a doll, play kitchen, cleaning etc. That will allow him to be comfortable with his kids & to be able to take care of himself instead of depending on women to take care of himself.”
“I doubt it’s your case. But my daughter did same thing everytime her bio dad and gf held her.. Turns out they was strung out on meth & she sensed it or that something wasn’t right…”
“You will be surprised how much he will get used to dad by the time you go back to work. Those few more weeks of development matter. Tell him to breathe and try to enjoy it.”
“It just takes time to adjust he can try rocking him a certain way or just walking with him or give him a binki . He’s a newborn lol I’ve had two and it’s tough but he’ll find out what works for your little guy.”
“I remember when my newborn son did this it ended around 4 months and now he prefers his dad for everything. He’s two.”
“My son is now 5 weeks old. This is our third baby. He was screaming when my husband held him around 2-4 weeks old too. It worried us for when I go back to work as daddy will be staying with him too. My husband just got through this phase with some patience (it wasn’t easy!) and continued to hold him while he was screaming and I was busy. Our son is doing better now with daddy, as long as he is well fed. Both of our other children did this too early on. It will pass!”
“It’s normal. Baby only really knows you. He’s probably a little scared. It should get better in time.”
“I have no answer other than my middle was in my arms until her first birthday. She would not let anyone else hold her and she cried alot in my arms as well but it was worse with anyone else. It was exhausting and emotional for everyone and the hardest year I’ve ever been through she wouldn’t sleep on her own unless we were riding in the car! But at 1 she decided she was ready for the world and opened her circle a little to daddy, grandma, and grandpa. By 4 she would really only talk to myself her sisters and dad. At almost 6 now she had a conversation with the walmart pickup guy about whether Mal from descendants was really bad and shes a complete daddys girl. Things eventually look up it just takes alot of patience they are learning to trust the world around them and some babies are more cautious than others.”
“If you breastfeed, try pumping some bottles and allowing your husband to feed him. Feeding is a great bonding tool.”
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