my stepchild is very mean to me and my kids and i don't know how to fix it: advice?

My Stepchild Is Very Mean to Me and My Kids and I Don’t Know How to Fix It: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice after her stepchild’s behavior has made her and her other children uncomfortable in their own home. Between the rude behavior and the name-calling, the mom said she is considering leaving her husband because it has become unbearable to be around her stepchild. Do you have any advice for this tired stepmom?

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A member of the community asks:

“I’ve been with my husband for eight years. My stepchild is nine years old and is extremely disrespectful to me. I get anxiety at the thought of having to watch the stepchild while my husband works or leaves the house. I also have four other children, only two of the other four are to my husband.

I absolutely get sick thinking of watching my stepchild when my husband is gone. My stepchild lives with us. [The] stepchild beats up their younger siblings, calls me names, calls all the other children fat and dumb. He calls me a piece of crap, ugly, and stupid. We all basically try to avoid the stepchild because I know there will be an issue.

I seriously feel like I am keeping my children in a mentally and physically unsafe environment. I am considering leaving because my stepchild is really driving me insane. However, I feel like this is not a real reason to leave your marriage because I don’t want to be around this kid. I also want my kids to be able to be with their dad. But this is becoming too much for me!”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Has Had It With Her Stepchild’s Behavior

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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There were a lot of different kinds of advice given to this mom.

One commenter wrote, “Has he seen a psychiatrist? Has there been any evaluations done? If not, I’d start there and rule out any mental health issues or behavioral issues. I also agree with counseling both specifically for him and for the entire family. I understand where you’re at. I understand that you’re worried about your children. That’s a natural reaction, but your stepson is a child too.”

Another mom added, “The husband has to step up to the plate, and both parents need to be in agreement about what consequences the child gets if his aggressive and disrespectful behavior continues. Otherwise, it won’t work. Also, if you are avoiding the child that will also make things worse because children are smart, they know! He may be feeling rejection due to the fact that he doesn’t have both biological parents under the same roof, and that will probably never change, even into adulthood. But he still needs to learn rules, respect, and boundaries in the home. You are also responsible for keeping your other children safe from mental and physical abuse, if all else fails, leaving may be an option. Good luck to you all!”

And one person said, “If your stepchild lives with you then they must go by your rules. You need to put your foot down and discipline the child like you would your own.
Talk to the child, there may be a reason they are acting out. Is this child your only stepchild? They might feel jealous or something else. Enforcement is needed here as YOU are the adult.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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