A mom writes in very confused and worried. Her unborn baby was diagnosed with a birth defect that could be life-threatening or cause long-lasting disabilities. She is looking for advice on what other mothers would do: keep the pregnancy or terminate?
A community member asks:
“I’ve never posted a question before, but I’m at a major crossroads. I’m 19 weeks pregnant with a boy. We just found out he has a birth defect that isn’t very common. The doctors keep telling us they don’t really know anything about it and won’t even know how bad or the effects on the baby’s life would be. We are torn on whether we want to put the baby through surgery after surgery or terminate the pregnancy.
The defect is a hole in the abdomen where his intestines are growing outside of his body. And all the doctors can say is it could be fine, or it could be life long disabilities for the baby. We don’t know what to do. Would you hope for a good outcome and follow through with the pregnancy or terminate? “
Community Advice For The Pregnant Mom Whose Baby Was Diagnosed With A Birth Defect
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this pregnant mother, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Many comments were very positive and hopeful. You can read some of these responses to this pregnant mom whose baby was diagnosed with a life-threatening birth defect in the quotes below.
“I’ve known a few people who were born with this. They all are 20+ years old. I heard the surgery isn’t too terrible. I would follow through. But if it really isn’t a risk you can afford to take terminating the pregnancy might be your only choice. That is a lot of money for care and hospital fees etc. It’s all so sad either way. I hope you find your decision.“
“My niece had the same kind of defect. Gastroschisis. She is a perfect human, mother, and wife! She had some difficulties, but made it through with flying colors!“
“I hate you’re going through this as I dealt with the exact same thing in 1991 I fought against everyone to see my child had EVERY chance he could it didn’t work out the way I hoped, but he lived for 48 minutes and was beautiful…That was a long time ago and things have changed.
Even knowing the outcome I would go back and do things the same way yes even knowing the outcome because I gave him a chance @ life and I held him in my arms…NO ONE can make this choice but you in the end, not your partner, doctors it’s up to you and either way you decide to go might I suggest you seek counseling soon and before you make this decision…peace be with you in your troubled times.“
“Keep the baby and get better doctors!!! Our son was in the NICU and the baby next to us had that exact problem she even got released way before my son it was a quick surgery to put everything back.”
“Continue with the pregnancy. Doctors aren’t always right. Many children are born with medical issues but are able to overcome it and live happy, healthy lives. Your baby’s problem could be corrected with surgery, definitely not a reason to terminate! It’s not an uncommon condition, I have a friend born with this. They’re almost 30 now, and other than a scar is perfectly healthy and happy!!“
I was very happy to see that many comments were of moms that had a baby with the same birth defect or diagnosis. It was very promising that the outcome can be very positive.
It is hard for someone who has never been in your shoes to give an unbiased opinion. We can say what we think we might do but unless we are faced with that decision we really can’t know. I am just so relieved that there were mothers in your position and they were able to give you some hope. I pray for good health for you and your baby.
Do you have any advice for this pregnant mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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