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QUESTION: My Husband’s Behavior During the Pandemic Is Not Considerate Towards His Family or Others: Advice?
“We have been married now for six years, going on 7. And I feel like he is so selfish and inconsiderate.
We have one daughter and a baby on the way. With this pandemic going on in the world, he finds it very convenient to just interact with people without wearing a mask, and I constantly have to baby him and remind him to sanitize.
I am so over having to talk to a grown man more than talking about this to my 4-year-old… I told him that he should move out and go stay at his mother’s house. I will not put myself and my baby’s lives at risk of getting anything…
Just yesterday my aunt died due to COVID. His dad was diagnosed as well. He is constantly seeing people close to us dying because of this, and still, he is so damn ignorant… I am considering having a divorce because I can’t deal with a selfish person like this. I am over it!.”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“It’s ok for him not to be concerned. He is allowed to have thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that differ from yours. I worry about our 1 year old getting it because she has a heart condition, so for her, anything really could turn into an issue. But. My husband doesn’t feel much worry over Covid in its entirety. I’m not going to get divorced because he feels different?…
… Maybe the way you phrase things is coming off rude. It’s selfish to demand he does as you say because you’re scared and he isn’t. I instead say, “I know you’re not worried, but it worries me. Will you please just wear the mask, spray your tools with disinfectant, etc?” And when you’re respectful of his beliefs, you might find he is respectful of yours.”
“Did people miss the point that she is pregnant? That puts her at a high risk because during pregnancy you immunity drops so you don’t reject your baby. She isn’t being unreasonable. He is putting her life and HIS unborn child’s life in danger over and over.”
“The comments on here are so ignorant. Try reading an article from John’s Hopkins, or the National Institute of Health people, not Fox news. YOU ARE NOT SELFISH FOR WANTING TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. The ailments MILLIONS of people are suffering from are real, and they are spreading because of people not taking it seriously enough…
… As for advice, my husband and I are on the same page about household rules. Seems like you need to not scold him, and let him know it’s about the family’s health and he needs to take it more seriously. I can definitely understand your frustration, but I wouldn’t jump to divorce right yet. Try and find some middle ground, and establish rules and boundaries that you can compromise on.”
“I can see why covid-19 hit the US as hard as it did. The lack of intellect and the fact that science and medicine is being completely ignored here is very clear in these comments. You have every right to be fed up with him. You have every right to want to divorce him, if he’s inconsiderate over the lives of his family, imagine what else he’s inconsiderate about…
… I have a feeling this goes deeper than covid, I have a feeling this is an exhausted woman who is tired of fighting for herself and her space in her marriage, a woman who’s tired of catering to a man who is not considerate of anyone around him, not even his own wife.”
“If your man is willfully disregarding you, your child, and your unborn child’s health, and a conversation about how it makes you feel isn’t enough for him to do his part to make you feel secure, then he doesn’t really care… I was in the same place. I was so worried about this virus but my husband didn’t care about it. When I went in to have my baby, I came out positive with covid. I had to have my baby by myself. My husband was put in quarantine…
… As soon as I had my baby the nurses took her away from me!! I was then put in quarantine. I had 0 symptoms and never had any. But they still put me in quarantine. I was without my baby for 7 days. i had to ask a cousin of mine if she would pick my baby up from the hospital and care for her for 5 days!!…
… So after my 7 days passed with no symptoms, I could pick her up but I had to wear a mask around her for another 7 days. They let me pick her up cause I wanted to breastfeed and agreed to wear my mask. Do what you think is best for you and your children!!!.. Don’t EVER let anyone make you feel bad for doing what’s best for You!!.. I had to learn the hard way…”
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