parent asks if she's wrong for allowing kids to use pool

Parent Asks Reddit If She’s In The Wrong For Allowing Kids To Play In A Pool Where A Child Had Died

A family feels between a rock and a hard place after they purchased a home with a pool that a child had previously died in. And while they enjoy using the pool — their neighbors feel they have been acting disrespectfully by having their children enjoy it.

“So when my husband and I were looking at houses we found this great one with a pool in the backyard. Normally it would have been out of our price range, but this one was a great deal. The reason why was because one of the neighbors children had drowned in the pool last summer.”

parent asks if she's wrong for allowing kids to use pool
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“I know it’s really morbid, but my husband and I discussed it and we decided we could look past it. I mean we could never otherwise afford anything like it. It was big enough that all our kids could finally have their own bedrooms.”

But when the family decided to fill up the pool — that’s when the discord began.

“When we had moved in the pool was empty and we didn’t see the point in filling it since at the time it was too cold out to go swimming anyway. Since it’s getting hot out now we decided to finally fill it last week. Our kids had a great time swimming and were having fun laughing and playing games.”

That is, until the neighbor (whose child had died in the pool) confronted them.

parent asks if she's wrong for allowing kids to use pool
Image via Shutterstock

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“Later though husband was confronted by our neighbor (the one whose kid died) saying that the sounds of kids playing in the pool was traumatizing to his family and that we were horrible for letting our kids play in that pool after what happened. Since then we’ve learned from an online post that several other people in the neighborhood similarly feel that we are being insensitive by letting out kids play in the pool. Many of them thinking that the right thing to do would have been to get rid of the pool or fill it up.”

And while they were sympathetic, the idea of getting rid of the pool didn’t sit right with them.

“Even considering it all though we don’t want to get rid of our pool. We never had a pool before, but now we’re really enjoying it and our kids do too.”

The family also mentioned that they do have a fence and they keep the gate locked for child safety purposes.

parent asks if she's wrong for allowing kids to use pool
Image via Shutterstock

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In addition, the OP revealed the child who passed away did so during a swimming pool party.

One user said:

“NTA, but this is one of those posts that have real-world consequences even if OP is within their bounds. Neighbor feuds are likely to rise, from multiple people it sounds like. It might be as non-important as their kids just not getting invited to a party. But it might turn quite ugly in terms of bullying the kids at school and voting for things at town council meetings that’ll directly affect OP, or calling CPS at the drop of a hat all the time or calling the cops because the kids are loud all the time. I’m not saying they shouldn’t use the pool this year nor am I saying you should try to build a relationship with the neighbors. But I hope OP realizes the risks they’re taking. I honestly am surprised that OP did not expect this blowback by using the pool immediately after the child died (the very next year is pretty immediate). The house was discounted for a reason. Again, this isn’t OP’s fault. But they and Reddit can scream from the rooftop that they’re NTA and the neighbors aren’t going to care and it won’t change the situation.”

While another commented: “What the neighbor is saying is ‘I haven’t dealt with my trauma so I need you to do it for me.’ That is an incorrect idea, that’s the neighbor’s problem and they need to learn to deal with the fact that their child died in that pool. OP’s family have come to terms with it and that’s all they need to do.”

What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!

parent asks reddit if she's in the wrong for allowing kids to play in a pool where a child had died | a family feels between a rock and a hard place after they purchased a home with a pool that a child had previously died in. and while they enjoy using the pool -- their neighbors feel they have been acting disrespectfully by having their children enjoy it.
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