A mom writes in asking for advice about child support. She says her daughter’s father recently contacted her and asked her to drop the child support case pending against him due to personal issues on his end. His stimulus check was taken by the state, he currently does not have a valid driver’s license, and soon, she says, a warrant will be issued for his arrest. Given that she expects to receive nothing from him, should she drop the case? Or should she fight for what is rightfully her daughter’s?
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A member of the community asks:
“Should I drop the child support case against my ex?
My daughter’s father called asking if I could please drop the child support case against him because his stimulus check was taken from the state, his driver’s license is suspended, and soon he’ll have a warrant for his arrest. He called the Child Support office and asked what he could do to get his stimulus check back they told him to have me drop the case against him.
She’s ten now, and he has never given me a penny nor helped. His parents are the ones who buy her clothes, school supplies, just anything she needs, and have done so since she was born (I appreciate them so much). I have sole custody of her, and the only time he sees her is when she is with his mom. Last year she wanted to join cheer, but it came out to be over $500, and I couldn’t afford it by myself, so I asked him for help, and his response was, “let me see what my dad can do.” I told him I was asking for HIS help, not his father’s.
I would’ve asked his dad myself if that were the case. He’s on drugs and hasn’t worked in years; his parents support him. He’s blaming the CS case for not being able to get a job. Part of me feels bad and wants to, but then I would be enabling him as well, and part of me wants him to grown-up, he’s 30 years old and take responsibility for his daughter. He’s bothering me non stop to drop it, and I know, if I do, I’ll still never get his help. I don’t know what to do at this point. She still very much in her life no matter what I do.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Know if She Should Drop the Child Support Case Against Her Ex
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Oh, and I highly doubt that they told him if you dropped the case he would get his stimulus check back. The ONLY thing they were taking stimulus checks for was back child support. So if he owes back child support, they’re not giving him that check back anyway. It’s coming to you towards the money he owes for child support. Don’t do it!”
“Do not drop that. That money will not go back to him regardless. My personal opinion is he made his bed, he can lay in it.”
“Do not drop the case. It’s his problem for not paying in the first place. Also why do you even talk to him or allow him to talk to you? You owe him nothing.”
“Nope. He made his bed & now he can lay in it. He should have stepped up & taken care of his kid from day one & if he still ain’t, then he can deal with the consequences of being a crappy father.”
“I would only drop it if he would sign over his rights.”
“He is in this situation because of his choices. Don’t go easy on him.”
“Nope. He is trying to manipulate you. In most states, he can apply for a hardship license that allows him to drive to and from work until he makes a purge payment to get his regular license back. Also, it’s not your problem or your daughter’s problem. He should be a man and do the right thing. I would not feel sorry one bit for him.”
“Don’t drop it. Your daughter deserves what little she gets from him. He won’t get a job because then the state will make him stand up to his responsibilities. If you had everything you and your daughter needed it would be a different story. Think of what that $1200 will do to help your daughter.”
“Don’t drop it. I’m in the same situation. Make them responsible for their children. You and the child both deserve it.”
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