A set of parents were left “disappointed” when their daughter came out as bi-sexual and were later in shock when four years later, they got engaged.
The mother began to explain to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole thread how both she and her husband had originally saved up a lot of money to cover her daughter’s college fund.
“She ended up getting a scholarship to cover a lot of her college so we had about 20k left over, we offered to give to to her at the time and she said she’d rather we keep it for when she gets married and we agreed,” she wrote. “That was years ago now.”
But the parents weren’t expecting how her future wedding would evolve.
“About 4 years ago my daughter came out as bi-sexual and started dating a girl, this shocked us a lot because we never saw her as the type,” the mom stated. “My husband and I were really upset because we loved the idea of her having a husband and a family, grandchildren for us. We thought it was just a phase but 4 years later they are still together and they got engaged last month.”
And when her daughter and wife-to-be came over, they began talking about wedding planning when mom noticed she had “20k Mom & Dad” in her budget.
“I saw this and told her that we were planning on using that 20k for renovations now,” the mom wrote.
“She questioned us and we were upfront and said we agreed for her to use that money under the assumption she was marrying a man. Her girlfriend got very upset and started calling us homophobic, and my daughter just sat there letting her go off at us. Then my daughter said ‘that money was mine and I had it all planned out to use it towards the wedding.’ Well no it is our money that we saved with a specific use.”
The daughter ended up leaving for obvious reasons.
“[She] told us to never speak to her again,” the mom wrote. “I think she is being very ungrateful but my other daughter has now turned on us as well and said we are terrible parents. I am not homophobic I respect same-sex couples it is just not what I wanted for my daughter.”
Now, the mother wants to know if she is in the wrong. And sadly, people had to explain to her just how in the wrong she was.
“You were willing to just straight up hand over the money to her, and she asked you to save it for her wedding. Then she found someone to marry, and now you are refusing to hand over the money because that person happens to be a woman,” one user wrote.
“You are being unsupportive and homophobic,” the person went on. “And it’s not even about the money, it’s about how you refusing to give the money clearly shows that you don’t consider her relationship valid or good enough. It shows that you think less of her because of her sexuality, and that’s horrible.”
Users also chimed in about how it had nothing to do with money. “Normally I’d be saying NOT THE AH when kids expect money from parents, but in this case where you’d agreed to it,” another user wrote. “Hadn’t ever told the daughter something different.”
What do you think? Be sure to comment your thoughts below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.