One mom is posting to Reddit looking for advice after she and her husband butted heads on whether or not to share their child’s image to social media once they are born.
“My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been together for five years,” she started. “A while back, he made a YouTube channel as well as a Twitch channel where he’s amassed a respectable following—large enough to be able to make enough money through sponsored content and streaming where he was able to quit his job but small enough where we’re still largely anonymous.”
The OP (original poster) still has a full-time job outside the home, adding: “we contribute to our household finances equally.”
“Previously, I’ve had no real issue with very very occasionally popping up in his videos or streams,” the OP shared. “But recently, since I got pregnant, we’ve had some pretty heated discussions about what is and isn’t appropriate to share with his subscribers.”
Her husband “intends to document the pregnancy in detail because he thinks it would be helpful for other future dads and hopes, as our child grows, to swing at least his YouTube channel toward family vlogging,” she shared. “In his mind, this will likely increase viewership and help us bond as a family/open up the channel for more types of sponsors/subscribers and give us all sorts of opportunities.”
“He’s genuinely really excited about the idea of documenting our growing family for the world to see,” she posted to Reddit. “And for us to look back on when our kid/kids are grown.”
That doesn’t necessarily mean she is also on board with the idea. “I, however, am vehemently against the idea of putting our kid on the internet for their whole lives,” she wrote. “I find it exploitative, especially since kids aren’t able to make their own decisions about whether or not they even want to be on camera if all of their business is for public consumption since infancy.”
In addition, the OP worries about what the sharing will do to their child later on. “I also worry a lot about people with poor intentions having images of our child and how being encouraged to put on a face for the camera would affect our child’s development,” she explained.
“After a few heated debates, It also hit me that I don’t even want to be in his videos anymore,” she shared. “At this point, I’ve deleted my personal social media a long time ago because I wasn’t into the follows and friend requests from his subscribers.”
But when she came to her husband to discuss the change in heart, he blamed it on her being pregnant. “I mentioned this to him and the new boundary I was trying to set sent him over the edge, blaming all of my opinions on pregnancy hormones and not my own innate boundaries,” she went on.
“I do support his career choice—I’m proud of him for going for it and working so hard for his success. I don’t want to crush his dreams,” she shared. “But I never signed up to be on display and I definitely don’t want to shove our kid into it from the day they’re born.”
One person said: “Fully agree with this. It’s also a massive safety issue to have a kid’s face, location and info just out there on the web. Plus, imagine when they’re older and an employer sees those videos and how embarrassing that could be. Imagine how much worse it could be if there ends up being major controversy with OP’s husband and then the kid gets known for their dad being a problem. NTA OP, you have a right to not be in the videos and definitely keep your kids off the channel.”
While another commented: “Piggybanking to say that I am on the commentary [side] of Youtube and to my knowledge, there is so much toxic and harmful stuff going on in the family vlogger scene. Recently there has been a big push to start to reform Youtube guidelines, especially for family vloggers because kids are being exploited and not protected on the platform. So absolutely NTA! Please stand [your] ground and protect your family. Maybe show your husband some videos talking about this. SmokeyGlow has one and recommends some other sources as well.”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.