Stay-at-home orders and social distancing guidelines have completely altered the way we live our lives. For many of us, everyday tasks like shopping at the grocery store, grabbing a bite to eat, and making a trip to the laundromat have been fraught with dread. While we might be missing the mundanity of life before coronavirus, one thing remains unchanged: hairs must be cut.
Personally, I have not had a haircut since February. I imagine this is true for a great many people. On a daily basis, I ask myself, “Should I shave my head?” My better angels have kept me from lobbing off my unruly curls. Instead, I will wait until it’s safe to see my beloved barber, Nico. While salons are opening back up in some states, they remain closed in many. People have begun taking matters into their hands by arming themselves with cutting shears for the first time. The results? Disastrous haircuts for the whole family! Take a look at these 10 corona-cut horror stories.
10. “When left with Dad for an hour.”
These poor children! We hope Cath Day, their mother, has gone ahead and shaved the remnants away by now. Good thing it grows back!
9. “How to stop your kids [from] leaving the house.”
Tonsure is the practice of cutting or shaving some or all of the hair on the scalp as a sign of religious devotion or humility. It’s also commonly referred to as the “monk cut.” This child has a twisted form of it and we’re pretty sure he won’t be excited to show it off to friends anytime soon.
8. “Gave myself a #coronacut but I can’t see the back.”
Oof. It’s a sad day for the crown of this man’s head. If you are social distancing with someone else, please ask for assistance with your corona-cuts.
7. “Gave my man a quarantine fade.”
gave my man a quarantine fade ???? pic.twitter.com/bHi6O7msOD— badgirIkiki (@badgirIkiki) April 8, 2020
Is he your man or your enemy? And, by fade did you mean spade? In all honesty, this is better than most.
6. “When you let your 3 teenagers freely cut your hair and beard…and leave it for the weekend.”
A man’s children exacting revenge with reckless abandon here.
5. “So far…. so bad.”
Not going to disagree with that assessment. There’s a reason men find a good barber and stick with him or her for life.
4. “I let my five year old son give me a haircut.”
Thoughts and prayers! You should probably not trust children around your head with sharp objects. Just as a general rule.
3. “This is the newest trend called corona-cut this has to beat the man bun.”
With all due respect, this man looks like a cartoon character. Do you agree that this beats the man bun?
2. “Hubby needed a trim and we figured, why not? How bad a job could I possibly do?”
“Is it growing in any? Maybe? I cannot bring myself to look at his skull/my handiwork. Please don’t tell!” this Twitter user is experiencing remorse and it’s warranted. At least she tried!
1. “They said I would look cool.”
Steve Mull decided to go with a classic bowl cut. In the video, as someone is using a bowl to get that crisp, clean, line, Steve says “At least I don’t have to leave the house for a few months,” followed by nervous laughter.
Mull then shared another video with the caption, “Mom asked for a pic of my new haircut.”
This haircut is a crime against humanity. It’s an insult to friars and monks around the globe. The clichéd signs in salons that read, “I’m a beautician, not a magician” are 100% inaccurate. Hairdressers are clearly vital and hopefully the people featured in this list can make their way to one very soon.
Please be careful people. Take your time. Take a breath. Weigh the pros and cons before cutting your own hair.
Andrew is a Chicago-based writer who enjoys finding the best of the internet, obsessively making lists, and cooking for friends. After studying Film and Art History, he developed a deep love for both topics. Celebrity news, pop culture, and stories that bring people together are his passions.
- 1 10. “When left with Dad for an hour.”
- 2 9. “How to stop your kids [from] leaving the house.”
- 3 8. “Gave myself a #coronacut but I can’t see the back.”
- 4 7. “Gave my man a quarantine fade.”
- 5 6. “When you let your 3 teenagers freely cut your hair and beard…and leave it for the weekend.”
- 6 5. “So far…. so bad.”
- 7 4. “I let my five year old son give me a haircut.”
- 8 3. “This is the newest trend called corona-cut this has to beat the man bun.”
- 9 2. “Hubby needed a trim and we figured, why not? How bad a job could I possibly do?”
- 10 1. “They said I would look cool.”
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