Question

These are questions asked by our Facebook Fan Page community directly on the MamasUncut Fan Page.

How can I help my kids with their separation anxiety?

I have a three year old and a 2-year-old. Their father kidnapped and withheld them from me for five months. In our emergency custody hearing, I was given sole custody, pending the final hearing in May. I got my babies back the day following the trial. I was wondering what ideas you guys might have to help with their separation anxiety. I have already scheduled a family therapy session this coming week for the babies and me with my therapist. She also sees children in her office, so she was a perfect fit for us. I am also using a baby monitor system that allows me to talk to the children when I have to be in the other room. I am taking leave from work, so I don’t have to leave them right away, not till December. But they are already super clingy and nervous every time I leave the room. I can’t even use the bathroom without them. I’m not complaining because, honestly, I don’t wanna leave them for a second, either. But I also know it’s not healthy and I don’t know how else to handle the situation in a positive manner. I already explain every time …

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We think my fiances son is being abused by his mother: How can we get full custody?

My fiancee has a five-year-old little boy, and we have a four-month-old little girl together. His son’s mom has been awful towards me ever since we got together. She’s threatened me and harassed me. She blamed me for my father’s death, threatened my life, and told me she hoped I miscarried. At the time, I was living across the country and just recently moved to where my fiancee lives. Long story short, I believe shes abusing her son. My fiancee currently has 50/50 custody with her. We get his son half the week. Almost every time we get him he’s either sick or covered in bruises he can’t explain(I think he’s scared to) and lately he’s been losing a lot of weight.. he’s only 28lbs at 5 years old and fits into 3t.. our 4-month-old is almost half that, and she was 3lbs at birth. Anytime he comes to us; he’s starving. I make home-cooked meals every night, and every time he eats as fast as possible and always thanks me. It could be the most straightforward meal, and he’ll just go nuts and woof it down like he hasn’t eaten in days. We’ve tried asking him what he eats …

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My husbad will not let my daughters gay guy friend sleep over: Thoughts?

Good afternoon, mamas! Tell me I’m not the ‘silly’ one here as what I was referred to for letting my daughter’s gay guy friend sleepover. They’re 13/15, by the way. She has lots of friends sleeping over from time to time, so I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. I have gay guy friends too so, what’s the difference with him ? Oh, and it is my husband who doesn’t like this. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My 8-year-old gets jealous easily: How can I tell her I am pregnant?

So just recently I found out I was pregnant. Yaaaaaay! I cannot even explain how extremely excited I am. However, my 8-year-old daughter won’t be as excited. We’ve hinted to her about having a sibling, but she straight up throws a tantrum and says, ‘”No! Mom won’t love me anymore if there’s a new baby”‘. This breaks my heart! She gets jealous quite easy when I give attention to other kids, so just imagine how she’ll feel with the news of her being a big sis. How do we go about telling her? This is all so overwhelming. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My daughter comes home from school defeated:Advice???

I’m sorry this is so long, but I have nobody else to ask! What would you do in this situation? My child is in the 3rd grade currently. She has hated school for the last two years, and I mean, she absolutely hates it! She is constantly making negative comments like I don’t want to go to dumb school, and I hate dumb school! The worst one was two mornings ago she told me she wanted to burn the school down with the teachers in it! I couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth as this was 5 minutes after she had woken up! To give you a quick recap of her last 2 years of school – 1st grade she had a teacher who was literally the devil she bullied and belittled my daughter for nearly the entire year up until the last three months when I stormed into the school demanding they put my daughter in another class and not let that teacher have any sort of contact with her ever. She had called my daughter Lala(her name)land in front of her classmates because she said my daughter spaced out, and the other children began …

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My exes girlfriend keeps starting drama on facebook: Help?

My ex has this girlfriend who’s a drama lover. She’s always posting negative uncalled things on Facebook about me. My kids see it. They have a child together. Our oldest (15 yrs old) got fed up with it, and I didn’t know she had contacted her dad and told him that she’s never coming back to his house cause of how his girlfriend treats me. He just shrugs it off like it’s nothing to him. He says he tells her to stop, but she won’t. I don’t post on Facebook about them. It’s not the time or the place. My kids refuse to go there because of her actions. I’ve even had people tell me she’s a disease and will do anything to destroy my kids so she can have their father to herself and their child. What do I do? I’m lost, and my heart goes out to my kids. Talking to their dad does no good! Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My 10-year-old son has been watching inappropriate things: Advice?

My ten-year-old son has been watching inappropriate type things on YouTube lately and also found some adult magazines that his dad had previously put away, and I have no idea what to do about it. I have taken his tablet away, but somehow, he keeps finding ways to him on YouTube at home. I have also disposed of the magazines. I can’t even figure out how he even learned how to look for things like that because his dad and I don’t look at that type of stuff online, and the magazines are from before we met (didn’t know he even had them). I have tried everything I know to explain to him that it is not appropriate to watch things like that, and I don’t know what else to do. Does anyone have ANY advice? TIA Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My step child is very mean to me and my kids: Advice?

I’ve been with my husband for eight years. My stepchild is nine years old and extremely disrespectful to me. I get anxiety at the thought of having to watch the stepchild while my husband works or leaves the house. I also have four other children, only two of the other 4 are by my husband. I absolutely get sick thinking of watching my stepchild when my husband is gone. My stepchild lives with us. Stepchild beats up younger siblings, calls me names, calls all the other children fat, dumb he calls me piece of crap , ugly, stupid. We all basically try to avoid the stepchild because I not there will be a issue. I seriously feel like I am keeping my children in a mentally and physically unsafe environment. I am considering leaving because my stepchild is really driving me insane. However, I feel like this is not a real reason to leave your marriage because I don’t want to be around this kid. I also want my kids to be able to be with their dad. But this is becoming too much for me! Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked …

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My 15-year-old blocked his father on facebook: What do I do?

So yesterday I took my boys down to spend there a weekend with there other siblings and their father was supposed to be there. Well come to find out there father refuses to come out because he can’t bring his girlfriend with him. And the only reason she can’t come with him is cuz he pays more attention to his new girlfriend then he does the kids. So the other kid’s mom doesn’t want her there while he is visiting the kids, and I agree with her… But anyways, the kid’s father texted me yesterday asking why our oldest blocked him on Facebook. I told him I didn’t know he blocked him. So should i have a talk with my son or just let him be? He is 15. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My boyfriend got a call from a strip club at midnight: Do I have the right to be upset?

Hi, I am quite confused right now as this happened just yesterday: I am 8 weeks pregnant with my second child with my boyfriend. Last night, my boyfriend and my brothers in law got together for drinks at home. Then I decided to go out for food after the drinks. All went well after, and so my boyfriend slept when they arrived back home. I could not sleep because of nausea every midnight. Just when I was about to sleep, my boyfriend’s phone rang once. My gut feeling told me to get his phone and check. On the phone was a caller named Janet and the name of a well-known strip club. I immediately called back the number and put it on record. She answered and asked if he was still coming over. I didn’t speak, and she dropped the call. I saved the voice record, took photos of his call log under her name. The saved number was recent, but he still called her a couple of times prior to that midnight. I woke him up to confront him, and he said he did nothing wrong, he was supposed to take my brothers in law since one of them …

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Advice on home schooling my daughter?

Homeschool moms! So I and my daughter’s dad are no longer together, and he wants to do homeschooling, so we can have 50/50 custody. He lives 3 hours away. I want to do homeschooling as well, but I swear everyone except her dad and me don’t want us to do homeschooling my mom wants her to do school down here, and his mom wants her to do school up there, and they say my daughter won’t have excellent people skills, but she does dance we go to the park, and she’s great. I just don’t know how to tell my parents that homeschooling is what I think is best until she decides she’d rather do public school and she can choose who she wants to stay down with for school… currently she’s in a preschool that’s 3 hours a day 4 days a week, and she’s just to smart for it.. from what her teachers tell us, but I feel like being at home for school me, and her dad will be able to bond with her more and have more time with her Also home school moms, and I need more information on how to start homeschooling where do …

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My 3-year-old has started stuttering: Advice?

My son is three years old. He has been talking well before one years old. Recently I have noticed he has started stuttering and in the past week it is getting worse. I plan on calling his pediatrician Monday. I was wondering if any moms have gone through this? Do you think he may out grow it? Im starting to get very anxious. I have tried telling him to slow down but I think he just gets super excited. Any suggestions? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I don’t want to go to my fiances mothers thankgiving: Am I wrong?

Ever since my fiancé and I got together it’s been nothing but the drama between his ex-wife and his mother hated me for no good reason, I treat his daughter like me own and even let them daddy-daughter time together. His mother said he was too good for me, and he needs to stop playing dad to my children, she’s called me clingy and has talked down on how I have three kids from different men which I believe has nothing to do with anything. His ex-wife doesn’t like me because god knows why but threats to call dcf on me if he daughter ever gets hurt when she’s at my house or if we’re at the park but yet she’ll ask if her daughter can come over when she wants to spend time with her friends. With all of that he’s still trying to make me go to his mothers for thanksgiving and Christmas and yes his ex will be there because it will make his daughter happy when I think we should just have or own thanksgiving and Christmas he can go to his moms to be with them @2 then come home to eat with us @6 …

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My in laws are buying my baby things that I wanted to buy: Am I over reacting?

I have a ten-month-old baby, and he is the first grandbaby for my in-laws, and with the holidays coming, they are buying him my first thanksgiving outfit, and also they just got him my first Christmas PJs. These don’t bother me that much, but they also got him an ornament that says my first Christmas and his name on it. Am I wrong for being so upset about this? I feel like this should be something I buy for him. They didn’t even ask before they got it. I don’t know what to do because it bothers me. I tell my husband and he just says I didn’t know what to say? I’m at my wits end with their need to be in control. Help please any advice would be GREAT Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My brother in laws wife cheated and won’t let them back in their house: Advice?

Okay, so my brother in law(husbands brother) Is in a jam. His wife is cheating on him with a married man but still lives in the house that my brother in law pays for. She always threatens him with the kids and has even threatened the kids that if they tell daddy about her lover, they will never see him again. She had also told the kids that her married boyfriend broke her heart by getting married. She has four kids with my brother in law. She told him that she would call the cops if he doesn’t stay out of the house he pays for. She told him that he needed to get the kids out of the house this Saturday, but she isn’t allowing him to take them to his family’s house. The only time she wants anything to do with my brother in law is when he gets his paycheck. I knew her from before they got married because our moms were friends. She used to try and rub herself all over her mom’s boyfriends. She has also caused a lot of drama for the family. He has also bought her a brand new car that she …

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My childs other parent isn’t in their life: Advice?

It has been 11 months since my child’s other parent has not been present, not a call, visit, or message to even ask about them. It’s been normal for weeks an a couple months at a time to go with being around or calling. At 11 months now, however, my child no longer wants anything to do with this parent. The other parent does have a new family an ever since has vanished, does this normally happen. Just cut out your other child/children when you have a new family? It always makes me nervous that they may try and take my child, after this amount of time, the child wants no dealings with the parent. Would a mature nine year old have a say Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My dentist told me my daughter had a tongue tie: Advice?

Has anyone dealt with a tongue tie with their child? Did you choose to have it corrected or wait and see if it corrects itself? My second child is a year-and-a-half, just went to her first dentist appointment and was notified that she has a tongue tie. It was never noticed by any other physician seen, nor has she has any issues with breastfeeding or eating and is in the stage of learning to enunciate. We’re going to get a second opinion [especially due to her not having any issues], but I’m just curious to hear other mom’s situations/circumstances and routes taken. [noted to add that I’m aware each child is different, and medical opinions are obviously taken into dire consideration, but I do believe some doctors are all about unnecessary procedures just for big pharma and insurance companies to make a few bucks off the hard-working families (Please don’t get me going on this subject ) ] Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I am concerned with my husbands work relationship: Advice?

Mine SO got a partner at his work that he speaks very highly of. She is young and beautiful, and they have a really good work bond. I didn’t think anything of it at first because he has a lot of friends from work, but recently he just stopped talking about her, when he would always tell me what happened at work (good/bad) and he spoke about her more often than not. The last few things that he said was how he had called up some of his friends (whom I have never met) and had them come and hang her name sign up to surprise her before she came into work. He has never done anything like that for me. I’ll be lucky to get a card, and we never go out together, and I always tell him how I want to go out together. He even found a babysitter but never calls or texts them to see if they can watch the kids for a couple of hours. And then the other day he told me about his plans to go back to school to get his MS degree and him and his partner (the woman he surprised) …

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Tips on dealing with the pre-teen attitude?

My 12-year-old is convinced that she has the worst home life ever because I have to know who she is hanging out with at all times and won’t let her “go for a walk” at dusk with her female friends completely unsupervised. We also limit online activity. Recently it seems that her anger toward her brother has increased- he’s no angel, and I’m well aware of that, but she calls him a LOT of names: fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, etc. She basically demands that she spend the night with a friend at least one night every weekend, my husband and I usually give in just so that we can have some peace in the house for at least a day, but I know that isn’t helping reach the long-term goal of raising kind, responsible, respectful, successful young people. She rarely asks for anything anymore; instead says things like, “You need to get/buy/do ___ for me…” and when I say “No,” I get an immediate whining “Buuuuuut whyyyyyyy?!?” And she throws a temper tantrum, screaming, yelling, name-calling- far beyond anything she ever did as a toddler or young child. I know that we have got to get this attitude under control, …

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Advice on being a single mom?

I’m a mother of a two year old, and I’m still with my daughter’s father, and we’ve been together for four years. We have had more downs than ups being together. At this point, I know he will never change. I’m currently going to start going to counseling for myself because I want to become a better person and a better parent, of course. I want to leave my baby father, but it’s hard because he’s been the only support that I have had. I don’t speak to my parents; they are not in my life. And I’m just so sad because I want to leave him so bad. But I won’t have anywhere to go with my daughter, and I NEVER want to give up my rights for him over my daughter because my daughter is my world. I know I can get a job a full-time job, but it’s going to take a while. I just need help at this point in knowing what to do. I just want to be happy with myself and my daughter. How do you single mothers do it? With or without support from your family. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by …

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I have anxiety and depression and cannot tell if I am over reacting: Advice?

Am I being ridiculous? I’m upset with my partner because they went to a place with their family that I expressed just last week wanting to go to. When I said how I felt, they responded “I’m not going to not go with my family so we can go for the first time.” This hurts my feelings more because they totally could have said ‘no thanks, my girlfriend really wants to go with me. I’ll wait until I can go with her.’ My birthday is Monday, and at this rate, I’m questioning whether they will even come to my bday party or get me anything. Keep in mind, I struggle with severe depression and anxiety w/panic attacks, and I’m waiting on med refills. I cannot tell if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid. I told them I didn’t want to talk for a bit because I needed to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to say something that would make me look like an ass while I was in such an emotional state. Please, no bashing. Am I in the wrong and just overreacting due to my mental health shit? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a …

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My special needs child might be kicked off the bus: Advice?

My soon to be four-year-old son goes to preschool for children with iep and special needs. (He hasn’t been diagnosed yet.) We have had a few instances, but nothing this bad. Today he was kicking, biting, hitting, cursing the bus aid. Saying things like you mother***** and so on… I am so upset about this. His teacher called me to let me know this is his warning if it continues, he will no longer be able to ride the bus. Please don’t tell me he needs his but whooped he is a special needs child. He doesn’t benefit from that in any way. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

How long should my ex be with his girlfriend before our child meets her?

Quick question. My ex just started seeing someone and wanted to take our son to a movie with his new girlfriend. I really don’t care that he has a new girlfriend. Good for him, he’s finally moving on. What I don’t like is subjecting my child to a relationship that might never work and having people come in and out of his life. My question is how long should it be that you ex is seeing someone else before a child should meet the new person? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.