One woman has taken to Reddit’s very popular AITA (Am I The Asshole) thread to ask the interwebs if she is in the wrong for putting her foot down when it comes to being the sole plan for her parent’s retirement fund.
“I had a conversation with my mom. My mom told me that children should take up all the responsibility of their parents when they start earning – including all expenses.”
“Even if the parents are already well off and if they don’t do that… they are [ungrateful because] parents spend money raising them.”
She goes on to say how she disagrees with this logic and what she does deem appropriate.
“I told her….I don’t think parents should have children so can be their ‘retirement plans.’ If a child wants to do something nice for parents that’s great but they shouldn’t force them or guilt trap them if parents do not have any financial problems.”
“She just called me ungrateful, spoiled, and that she wasted all the money raising me I’m just saying all this because I’m selfish and don’t wanna pay for food, clothes, medicine etc.”
Many commenters were quick to rush to the woman’s aid — with more users sympathizing than criticizing her for her post.
One user said: “NTA though for some cultures this is more important than others, but from my own worldview I was raised to do whatever I want with my life. I plan to take care of my mom when she gets old not because I am required to but because she has been the perfect mother and deserves it.”
Another commented: “Actually, that’s my mom’s reasoning. She always says that she brought me into this world, so I was born only to serve her. TBH, I hate her. I hate everything she does, and I’m on the fence of going no-contact with her when I’m older. She has had me working for money since I was 12 (I live in the US), and while I do like some of my jobs like babysitting, I hate the fact that she dictates everything I do. I want to hang out with friends, nope. I lost all hope of having a social life years ago. Sorry for the rant.”
While this user said: “NTA. I know in some cultures this is very common, but it should be from the generosity of the child’s heart, not a burden placed on them to take care of 2 households for the rest of their parents’ lives. And many people have children very young, barring any physical disabilities, parents have 20+ years of Working ahead of them before they hit retirement age by the time their kids are adults. No way should their child feel obligated to pay everything for adults perfectly capable of helping themselves.”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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