Relationships

I am unhappy in my relationship: Advice?

My bf and I have been together for 14 years now, and I’m starting to feel really unhappy. Well, I’ve been unhappy for a long time, but I stay for my children because I want them to be around there, dad. He works the night shift and sleeps all day, which makes it difficult for the kids and me. He could go to bed a few hours after he gets home, but he would rather stay up and play video games until early morning and then sleep until an hour bf he goes to work. I have to beg him for attention and still don’t get it most of the time. I feel like he buys the kids love instead of spending quality time with them. But they adore him, and I don’t want to break my family up. I’m drowning in misery. I like doing things like vacationing and going to parks. Maybe take walks together as a family, and anytime I want him to join, it’s a big fight even to get him to go, and he ruins the mood. I feel like all he wants to do is play those damn video games. All he does on …

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My sons dad constantly talks bad about me to our son: Advice?

My 12-year-old lives with his dad by his own choice his dad talks bad about me to him my son seems to act like his dad when we got divorced we put 50/50 custody so what do I do my don’t want to come over because his dad hates my husband of 2 years, so he brainwashes my son he tells me he’s old enough to say where he wants to go he has always used my son against me in fights he would plan a vacation with his current family them ask me for a 100 or more for my son what should I do I hate him I hate that he puts my son in the middle of adult business Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband planned a date night and included our kids: Thoughts?

Yesterday I told my husband I really needed a date night and we were GOING to HAVE to have someone watch the kids overnight. (I just had a baby a month 1/2 ago, and I have a 2,9) Today he suggests that after his meeting at work, I am to go with him on a mandatory date. Which was a surprise that I was super happy about, but then I realized and asked: “what about the kids?”. He said, “They’re coming too. We have to learn to take them with us anyway. Don’t we?” This is where I got upset. I understand we have to learn to bring the kids everywhere. But I specifically said, “we will need a babysitter for all night.” This is for my own sanity. Mom shames me if you must, but I know I’m a damn good mom. I just need a night to drink, cry, and be alone for once. I’m under so much family stress, and I need some self-healing. I’m not upset at this sweet, sweet attempt to take me on a date, but how do I tell him I’m at my wit’s end and in desperate need to drink without the …

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How long did you wait to get intimate after giving birth?

I am 3 weeks postpartum and just wondering when you waited to have sex with your partner again? I know they say wait six weeks or until your PP checkup for your doctor to give the thumbs up, but it’s been a while lol we stopped having sex my 8th month of pregnancy due to it being uncomfortable. So ladies, how long did you wait? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I found out my boyfriend never divorced his ex; Thoughts?

My boyfriend and I have been together for years. When we first started dating, he made it clear that he did not want any more children or to be married again. I was the opposite; I wanted a lot of kids and to be married. Over the years, things changed, and we have been blessed with three beautiful children. We have discussed marriage, and he and I have agreed to how we want our wedding to go. The thing is, he always comes up with excuses to back out of it and says I am pushing the subject. I have given him space, haven’t asked, and came to the fact that we are happy without marriage. I just found out a couple of days ago; there is no record of him getting a divorce from his first wife. (Please, don’t attack me on this, I took his word, and I already feel stupid) He and his 1st wife have not communicated for over 15 years, and she lives with her new family on the other side of the country. I just don’t know with this information, how to feel I guess….any KIND positive advice/ words would be great! Thanks. Anonymous …

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My SO hasn’t been very supportive during my pregnancy: Advice?

I am in my third trimester, and my SO hasn’t been very supportive through this pregnancy. Anytime I talk about how I feel, he automatically puts me down and tells me that I’m dramatic. The other night he called me the C-word, and that I was the worst thing that has ever happened to him. And all I tried to do was explain to him how I was feeling, but anytime I try he becomes irate and cannot hold a civil conversation. Should I leave now, or wait it out? He told me if I left, he would never have anything to do with me or our child. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

Do I have a right to be upset?

Let me know if I’m wrong for being hurt and upset by my husband’s decision. I just had my nasal polyp removed early this afternoon. I was starving when we got back to our hotel and was looking forward to eating. I was given guidelines not to bend over, not to lift anything over 5 pounds. I have my sister and 3 years old here. I suggested we should order in for supper. But it turned out he had already made plans with his brother, who apparently gets really hungry after his dialysis. He’s been in dialysis for a few months. I wouldn’t ha e minded if he chose to have supper with him now or any other day. NOT the day of my surgery. Now he got pissed off and decided not to eat out and stayed with me. Because I told him I didn’t wanna eat anymore and didn’t wanna waste his time. Am I overreacting? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

A single woman that I do not know is making plans with my husband: Should I be concerned?

Does anyone think it’s suspicious that a single woman(that I don’t know and have never met) is making plans(2 hours away) with my husband? It’s to participate in an obstacle course race. Now last year, I asked him to do one with me, but when the time came, I wasn’t ready(still recovering from giving birth). But I just have a very bad feeling about this; I don’t think it’s appropriate. I had caught him being unfaithful in the past(before we were married), and we are trying really hard to get past this, but I am not comfortable with this. He constantly tells me I am paranoid, and I need to stop living in the past, but he fucked me up so badly it’s hard to forget. (he was messaging on Instagram while I was in labor!) Needless to say, I was crushed and was a huge factor in my PPD. Now he says he can never do anything with his friends because I will make a big deal out of it, but he never asks me to go out. He just assumes. So now that he brought this activity up, I don’t know how to react. If it was with …

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I have trust issues: What should I do?

I was in an abusive marriage for many years, with a string of crappy men before that. I finally got away, got divorced, and was single for four years. I tried dating, but have trust issues. I feel leery and uncomfortable around men. I finally met someone whom I liked, he seemed honest, and I wanted to give out a try. We had a “just friends” relationship for a while. During this time, I caught him in a couple of lies. He apologized, we weren’t “together,” and I tried to move forward. We kept talking and became a couple. He has worked and worked to “show me who he is” and regain my trust. He takes full blame for the lies and doesn’t make excuses. After apology has been YEARS of him being and doing what he says, but I can’t move past it. I don’t trust him, but I want to. He’s not standing here with apologies and repeated bad behavior; he’s apologized and put his heart into showing me he means it. I have become someone awful, questioning, checking his phone, needing to know where he is all the time, reading into every word and action. I don’t …

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I have thoughts of leaving my husband because I cannot have kids: Advice?

I am devastated. Me SO and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. I did get pregnant in 2018, but I had a miscarriage while at work. I never told anyone because I didn’t want to break their hearts. And now, after my second miscarriage in November 2019, still didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t even know it until afterward, I feel like a horrible excuse for a woman. He had a hard time sleeping last night and was just talking, and he said, “We’ve been married for three years, and we can’t even have a kid. It’s embarrassing,” and it just broke my heart into a million pieces. I just cried silently. But now I can’t sleep, and I feel like I should just leave him so he can find someone who is able to have babies and make him happy. I pray every day for my rainbow baby, but it feels like it’ll never happen, and he shouldn’t have to go through that. Am I silly for thinking I should leave and allow him to find someone who can get pregnant? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has …

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My husbands mom is very demanding: Advice?

Anonymous, please!! I just want honest feedback because I’m made out to be selfish from my in-laws. Long story short. My husband and I have one child 19; we also have a child who is 4. While our daughter is in college in another state, it’s just the three of us. My youngest was adopted at birth because we were not able to conceive, so he was a huge blessing after many failed fertility attempts. My husband’s mother is a very selfish lady, disguised in sheep’s clothing. She had other children but is obsessed with my husband. She puts our children last all the time if they’ve even thought about it at all. She has used my husband financially all of our marriage. She became ill around two years ago. My husband stays with her more than myself and my children. I want him to help his mother but not as much time as he’s spending away from our youngest. He’s missed so many important things because of his demanding mother. He even missed Christmas Eve and Christmas away from my children. She doesn’t even live an hour away. It’s like she gets a thrill of seeing how much he’ll …

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My sons dad’s family constantly talks badly about me: Advice?

My son’s dad and I have been together since we were teenagers. We share a four-year-old son. We got married & separated three years ago. We decided to make things work, but his family hates me and makes my life impossible. They are always judging & criticizing me. They always talk bad about me. We both made mistakes, but it seems like what he did goes unseen & I am the bad one. I try to be understanding respectful. It is so hard when they are always saying nasty things to him about me, but it just seems like it will never work with his family always getting in the way. Has anyone ever gone through this? Does it get better? Should I just stop trying and let things go? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

Who should pay the babysitter?

My husband and I are going away for my cousin’s wedding. We can’t take the kids (they weren’t invited). My mother in law is watching them overnight but asked if I could get her some help for a few hours since she’ll be with them overnight. I got a sitter to come to help her with baths, dinner, and bedtime (coming at 3/4 staying until 9). My question is… who should be responsible for paying for the sitter? Me or my MIL? Let me say I’m willing to do it, but I think she should be able to handle the kids without help (my mother had taken my kids for long weekends on occasion with no issue). Advice, please? TIA Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

The guy I am seeing told me he is a cross dresser: Advice?

I recently started seeing a guy whom I like. He is passionate, caring, sweet, and makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world. I have never had that before. My ex-husband was mentally and emotionally abusive, so this is all new to me. I have a two-year-old daughter, and I have been very careful not to introduce her to anyone, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. My dilemma: The guy I am seeing has recently revealed to me that he’s a cross-dresser. He only does it at home, never out in public. He showed me his private “room,” where he keeps everything, and he has way more clothes than I do. And I have a lot. My question is, what would you guys do? I don’t know if it’s too much for me. I don’t know if I can get past this, and although I was very supportive of him when he told me, I don’t know if I’m okay with it. He says he would understand if I stopped seeing him. I asked if he liked men, but he said he was 100% sure he did not. Sooooo, HELP! Anonymous Community MemberThis question was …

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I feel like I am living with my friend instead of my fiance: Thoughts?

Here is my problem, and I’m hoping this community can help me out a little with some insight. I have been with my fiancé for almost three years. We both have children from previous marriages. We have been engaged for almost a year. Hard times struck him, and I and we are living with my parents. Although we have different living spaces, we are still a household of seven. Nine, when his kids visit. He got into some trouble last year and got a DWI. Instead of taking charge, the court offered him to go through the Veterans Court to expunge his charge so it wouldn’t go on his record, sighting the arrest and charge stemmed through PTSD from being in the service. This program they put him into is extravagant. It takes up two weekdays, every week for court and meeting with his “probation/court” officer. There are also two weekdays where he engages in the group and alone therapy. He has to call in every morning to the hotline, and if his “color” (that was assigned to him when he entered) is called out, he has to go for a UA immediately. He can’t work full time. He is …

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Am I wrong for speaking to my ex behind my husbands back?

Me and my husband, I am on shaky ground. We’ve come to an understanding about what we feel for each other, but IDK if we’ll get a divorce or not, but my question is, does anyone still talk to their ex? My ex has recently been in contact with me after two years since we last talked (my ex is not the reason me and my husband are having problems) anyway my ex is just a friend right now he lets me talk he asks me about my day he listens he texts me goodnight an good morning it’s just little things that make me feel like he cares you know? But my husband doesn’t do any of that I’ve asked him to a lot on several occasions, and he’s probably done it at least 1-2 times in our going on four-year relationship (only married for about six months so far) anyway my husband doesn’t know I’m talking to my ex I’m sure he would take it the completely wrong way and I know it would open up a big can of worms but if there’s nothing to hide no romantic feelings no sexting no flirting (i am 200+ miles …

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My husband gets drunk and says mean things to me: Advice?

I’m a stay at home mom of 2 girls (2-4), I’ve been married for five years, and my husband has gotten drunk and left to make me worry numerous times, and then just says horrible things about me to me and anyone around, it’s so hurtful and seems so very true especially that it’s happened after the birth of our second child and so many more, I just don’t know what to do. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I am unsure on if my husband cheated or not: Thoughts?

I got married to a beautiful, caring, and amazing father figure to my daughter from a previous relationship. Everything is literally perfect, except he tested positive for Genital herpes yesterday. I’m literally devastated. I am not positive for any std, and he swears he didn’t cheat. I caught him cheating online right before Christmas. Never suspected he did it in person. I am not sure what to do. He swears it’s from his ex from 2018. Idk what to believe or do. I don’t really want to leave because besides this everything has been amazing. Advice? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

How can we tell my partners family that we want to move?

My partner and I are wanting to relocate to my home town, which is a few hours away by car as there is more support therewith for our children and us and better job prospects for my partner. We are worried about how to tell my partner’s family this. Please does anyone have any advice? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My boyfriend doesn’t want babies but I do: Advice?

So, I know what I want to do in my situation, but I would like to have other opinions to see what others think. My ex and I have started talking again.. we were together for seven years, and split nearly two years ago. We were only young, and now both mid-late 20’s. We have been split for nearly two years and have seen other people within that time, and have now been brought back together. Although nothing official, it’s like we were never apart, so went straight back to in a serious relationship without saying it. We were ready to move in together and carry on together; we couldn’t get much more serious! But then we split. We both still loved each other, but we wanted different things in life, and it wasn’t small things that could be compromised. I have two pets that he doesn’t like. Not that he doesn’t like mine, but in general he is more of a dog man and isn’t keen on cats due to their nature of being in and on everything, fur everywhere and so on.. the biggest thing is babies. I know for a fact I want babies. He knows for …

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My husband is deployed and I feel neglected: Advice?

My husband is deployed, and we have been fighting more than normal. He is not communicating with me as much as I wish he would. I know he is stressed out and has a lot going on, and I am trying to be understanding of that, but at the same time, I cannot help but feel neglected. He even forgot to tell me my happy birthday and remembered the next day. Should I tell him how he is making me feel or should I just keep things to my self? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I am struggling with my mental health due to my boyfriend leaving me while pregnant: Advice?

I’m really struggling with my mental health due to being left and disrespected while pregnant. I’m currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, and the Father is absolutely horrible. We were dating for a few months, and I unexpectedly fell pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ve tried to be civil and involve him, but he has zero respect for me and appears to have a lot of hatred. He told me that he has a new GF now and she doesn’t want him to have anything to do with my son or me. He also said that he wouldn’t see me because he doesn’t want to be tempted to sleep with me. I don’t want a romantic relationship with him; I only wanted him to be part of my son’s life. It’s very hurtful, and I’m feeling incredibly lost. Know other women have been through similar situations. I could really use some advice, guidance, and positive vibes atm. How do I handle this? Please send positive vibes my way. I need it right now. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain …

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