Spouses / Partners

I am concerned with my husbands work relationship: Advice?

Mine SO got a partner at his work that he speaks very highly of. She is young and beautiful, and they have a really good work bond. I didn’t think anything of it at first because he has a lot of friends from work, but recently he just stopped talking about her, when he would always tell me what happened at work (good/bad) and he spoke about her more often than not. The last few things that he said was how he had called up some of his friends (whom I have never met) and had them come and hang her name sign up to surprise her before she came into work. He has never done anything like that for me. I’ll be lucky to get a card, and we never go out together, and I always tell him how I want to go out together. He even found a babysitter but never calls or texts them to see if they can watch the kids for a couple of hours. And then the other day he told me about his plans to go back to school to get his MS degree and him and his partner (the woman he surprised) …

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*NO BASHING* I do not trust my husband and want to leave: Please help!

I’ve been struggling for the last four years with an extremely unhealthy amount of distrust. After being together six years and having two kids, my husband and I finally got married four years ago. We fought constantly, but always worked things out. Four months after we were married, we had a fight, and he decided it was over, but he wouldn’t leave, and I had nowhere to go. He spent weeks not speaking to me and talking to females on dating sites. At one point, I found a hidden camera disguised as a clock sitting on our tv stand spying on me. I was absolutely furious! I went through his email to find where he purchased this, and it turned out that he had bought not one, but two spy cams off of eBay. He “couldn’t remember” where he put the other one, gave it to someone at work, just every excuse you could imagine. He honest to god thought he did nothing wrong, and his excuse was that he wanted to watch me fondle myself because I would never do it in front of him. Somehow we managed to get passed all of this. Fast forward a little bit, …

*NO BASHING* I do not trust my husband and want to leave: Please help! Read More »

My husband leaves a lot for work, I feel lonely and depressed: Advice?

My husband is gone again for another 8 months, we have an almost 3 and 4mo, has been 3 weeks since he left , and I’m already giving up with this ( If you are wondering yes I have a great group of friends, but also they have families, and sometimes I just don’t want to bother them with my problems). Here is the thing I stay at home with my kids, but is getting worse between fits, crying, not wanting to eat, fits again, no sleeping, not even saying trips to the store, a few nights ago my older one was throwing a badly fit and with no intention hurt my nose, I was bleeding by inside of my nose and from a little cut of the outside, that was the final call, I sat, cried and cried, that cry that you cant simply stop, while my little one just wants to be held, bot wanting to be alone hard for me get stuff around the house. So I’m wondering how you girls go through this and survive, I love my husband I really do, but this situation of him being gone and me staying with the kids for …

My husband leaves a lot for work, I feel lonely and depressed: Advice? Read More »

My husband is obsessed with his xbox: Advice?

My husband and I have two kids between us. About a year ago, my husband bought an Xbox, so we had something to do in our free time. But now lately he’s become obsessed. It has affected him helping out with the kids when he gets home and is now causing him to be late to work every day. I’ve talked to him about it before when he would stop helping me with the kids at night and him just jumping on once he got home. He has improved a little on it but still half-ass things like helping clear the table, picking up toys, or putting the kids in bed. He is now getting to work super late because he ignores his alarms. I get it he wants to have his free time and relax, but it’s so difficult explaining to him that I need help with the kids. I always have dinner ready for him when he’s home so he can see and spend time with the kids and me but once he’s done eating he’s running to the Xbox, and I’m left to clean up and get the kids ready for bed and then waiting on him …

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My husband sometimes yells at our daughter and I dislike it: Advice?

My husband is a good father when he is good. We had our daughter eight months ago. He has been very loving, attentive, caring, etc. since birth. However, he struggles with his temper in general in life. He sees an anger therapist (per my request) as he often has one reaction (anger) to anything. He has never physically assaulted me or anyone, but emotional/verbal can be bad enough. He does not do this every day, but whenever he is frustrated, he will get upset. Most recently, he watches our daughter when I go to work, and he wakes up with her primarily. He will get frustrated at her at times when she is crying and tell her to shut up or knock it off. I yell at him, but this is rare for him to do. When I do, he tells me I am overreacting and that it’s really not a big deal. I have given him an ultimatum, he needs to work on it, or he needs to leave. I don’t fear of him hurting her, but I do fear eventually his words will hurt her. It is one thing to do to me, another to do to her…I …

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My boyfriend was abused by his ex and wants to take her to court: Advice?

Hey, so I’m just looking for a bit of advice. It’s not for me but my boyfriend. He has two girls with his ex, the first child was the result of a one night stand with her, but he stepped up, and they got together to raise their daughter, but the girl became abusive, telling people he would beat her and attacked him, punched him so hard that she punctured his lung!! Still, he stayed for the little one; despite her cheating on him,, she told him that he was the father of the second baby, fair enough they split up though. He moved around the corner, and she banned him from seeing the kids. No court or anything just told him no, she then went on to spreading lies and rumors about him and now myself, what I want to know is what he should do, I’ve advised going to court for custody but he’s worried that if it falls through he will lose the kids — any advice welcome. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I am miserable in my marriage but don’t want my kids having divorced parents: Advice?

I’ve been married five years. We got engaged pretty fast, not even two months, and had a “short” engagement, about eight months. I had always wanted to be a mom and wanted to try from the start of a marriage, and he knew that, but he didn’t tell me until after we were married that he didn’t want to start a family until a year or two of being married. He made me believe we would start almost immediately. Not even two months later, I found out I was pregnant. He appeared excited, but the further along I became, the more problems we started having. It was so close to the point of a divorce. I swore I would not allow my children to grow up in a broken home, so we fought for it. Things were looking up. Then, I found out I was pregnant AGAIN a little over a year and a half after our first was born. This pregnancy, like my last, was hard on my body. So I decided to get my tubes tied after. He was on board because he understood the pain I was in. My hormones were out of wack, and I wasn’t …

I am miserable in my marriage but don’t want my kids having divorced parents: Advice? Read More »

Would you lie for your spouse?

Would you lie for your significant other? Say, if they lost a job but ARE GOING BACK and said they don’t want you telling someone (their sister) would you? If you promised them? Or is it wrong to lie? In my eyes, your family is the most important thing to you. Your children and SO. No one else…. anyone agree? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband won’t take off work for my sons simple surgery: Am I being dramatic?

My 1-year-old (18 months) is going to have tubes put in his ears in a couple of weeks and his dad doesn’t want to ask for the day of the surgery off because he won’t have any personal days left for the year and thinks I’m overdramatic that I think he should go ahead and ask. Also, because it is a simple surgical procedure. Thoughts please, and I and my son’s dad are together. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I was cheated on in my past: How can I move on and trust my current boyfriend?

I need help.. in my past, I’ve been cheated on. I was cheated on by my daughter’s dad, which really hurt and made me insecure and makes me a snoopy and nosey person… I hate it.. I check my boyfriend’s phone sometimes he’s never done anything to betray my trust, but I’m so scared of getting hurt again.. with my ex, the cheating was out of nowhere everything was going good for us.. then bam he cheats I’m just scared it will happen again it sucks.. I don’t want to feel this way; I want to be able just to trust him and not snoop on his phone.. I really hate snooping, but my brain makes me want to do it any advice on how to just let my heart go all to him without being scared that he might be doing something..I need help.. in my past I’ve been cheated on. I was cheated on by my daughter’s dad, who really hurt and made me insecure and makes me a snoopy and nosey person… I hate it.. I check my boyfriend’s phone sometimes he’s never done anything to betray my trust, but I’m so scared of getting hurt again.. …

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What should I pack in my husbands lunch?

My husband wants me to buy and prepare a lunch for him each day and put it in a lunch box for him. This might sound silly but…I have no idea what to buy and fix for him! What kinds of things would you guys suggest? He’s massive, he’s almost 7 feet and 280 lbs and a bag of chips and a sandwich jusy won’t work lol Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

Should I be upset my husband went to the gym after work without tell me?

Looking for opinions, please…I am a SAHM, but I also do work part-time from home. My husband and I had our first child this year, and he is eight months old. My husband leaves for work at 6 am and usually gets home around 5 pm but sometimes later. He likes to get overtime for the extra money. On Friday, he still wasn’t home by 5:30, which seemed weird for a Friday, so I called him, and he said he was on his way home now, but he had gone to the gym with a co-worker after work. So he got home after 6 pm. I was pretty upset that he didn’t feel like he should have given me a heads up about it. He said he knew if he told me ahead of time, I would not have wanted him to go…which is true…he hardly gets any time with our son, and I also would appreciate a little more “me time” at night. Thoughts, please? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband has a lot of female friends and has cheated before: What should I do?

Hi, please post for me the marriage issue. In the first year of our marriage, my husband cheated on me broke up with the girl a week before our wedding, but the emotional relationship continued into our first year. I found out they had an affair about seven months almost walked, but he begged and even cried we work on our marriage. So over the years, he’s been changing girls he talks too. He spends most of the time talking to them, sending each other inappropriate messages. He promised to stop, but each time we talk about it, he stops with certain girls and replaces them with others. All or most of these women are single. If they ever get married, he grows apart from them and stops talking to them. I’ve seen a lot of selfies and activities like lunch and dinner, clubbing with them, hiking, etc. I’ve raised my concerns, but he stops and goes back. He doesn’t have many Male friends; most are just these single women. He says he’s passion is to help, but why can’t he help everyone except a single woman. On Tuesday left the house at 10 pm to get some girl’s food, …

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I just found out the father of my kids has been lying to me: Advice?

Can I have an anonymous post, please? So yesterday I found out that my baby daddy been lying to me me and him has been trying to work stuff out, and I found out he been talking to other girls and even a women who married and I feel horrible now bc I got mad when I saw the message where my baby told one of the girls that I was b**** and lier and abusive, and I was a wh***, and I didn’t think when I did it, but I messaged the woman husband bc I know the women husband but I told him his wife been sexting my baby daddy he told me not to feel bad or sorry for telling him but did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing by telling bc I was mad at my baby daddy for playing with my feelings and lying to me and telling those women lies about me Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband has to have surgery at the end of the month and now we are stressed about Christmas: Advice?

It sucks having no family what so ever. I never got the chance to meet most of my family growing up as my parents never had a good relationship with any of them on either side. My dad passed away two and a half years ago, and my mom basically just got up and left to be around my sister whos ten years older. I was married to my ex-husband for seven years and had two beautiful babies with him who are now three and 8. my ex-husband doesn’t pay a dime and refuses to pay a dime to support them. Even court-ordered, he still doesn’t pay. I have remarried, and he’s just amazing. He’s our main supporter. I work as a sub driver for our local school, and we just found out he has to have surgery at the end of the month and will be out of work for 3 to 4 weeks. So now, I sit here and stress and want to cry as I have no clue how Christmas is going to be possible for my babies or my two step kids. I have tried to contact my mom, and she doesn’t care, not one bit. …

My husband has to have surgery at the end of the month and now we are stressed about Christmas: Advice? Read More »

My husband constantly goes through my things and accuses me of cheating: I need advice

My husband and I have been together for 8 years now, and we have kids together. We haven’t had the best relationship; we have split up here and there. The last time we split up, it was because I’ve had enough of his controlling ways. Its always been his way or no way. Well, he is an ex-addict. When we split up, he begged me to take him back, and I wouldn’t do it, so he used to ease the pain he said. That was the first time I have ever left him, all the other times he would leave me for someone else or bc he wanted to party and have fun. We got back together in Dec. Ever since he came back, he hasn’t been the same. He is extremely paranoid; he thinks everyone is trying to set him up and puts him in jail. He thinks I’m in on it too! He will not sleep in the same room as me because he thinks I have cameras set up to watch him. He goes through every receipt I have to try and find something. He will even go as far as to question the kids and ask …

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I just had a c-section and my husband doesn’t help me with anything: Advice?

Last week I gave birth with c-section I’m staying with my husband, he still expects me to do everything in the house.he does not have time for us he is always on his phone. On Monday we had an argument then he told me that I’m no longer attractive. He can’t even kiss me.I’m heartbroken. I think he does not love me anymore I need advice as should I just go or stay…but the thing is that I don’t wanna be hurt. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

I am not sexually attracted to my husband anymore: What should I do?

What would you do if you’re not sexually attracted to your spouse anymore? I’ve been with my SO for almost 4 years. We are 15 years apart from each other (He is older). He is a very handsome attractive man but sexually ever since our miscarriage, it isn’t there for me anymore. Fairly quick after our miscarriage, we got pregnant again. Emotionally I wasn’t ready. I know relationships ain’t only about the sexual stuff. We have great chemistry, and our relationship is good, most of the time. Mentally I don’t think he is good for me; he would say differently. There is a lot more to our relationship that he would say there is. He’s put me through one hell of 4 years. Honestly, I should have run the first few months we were together. Thing’s changed, and thing’s happened that I didn’t see before we got together, that I can’t seem to get past. I’m emotionally drained. He is an amazing father, though! I would never discredit him on that. He’s a very, very sexual person always wanting something; he is super attracted to me, he can’t come by me or walk by me without touching something on my …

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I found a suggestive message in my husbands phone: Should I confront him?

So the other day, I had to use my husband’s phone for something, and while I had it, I made the classic mistake of snooping a little bit. I found a message to some girl that apparently lives someone where the weather is cold, so my husband responds with, “I’d love to come and warm you up ” obviously, I am upset about this. The message was back in August, and from what I can tell, there has been no more contact since then, but it still bothers me. I want to talk to him about it, but I also did a bad thing by going through his phone. Should I just drop it or what?? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband gets angry when he drinks and I want to leave: Advice?

I’m in need of some outsider’s advice. My husband and I are coming up on our two year anniversary, and we have two little ones together. Here recently, he had gotten drunk and went on a rage, damaging his own vehicle and calling me any name in the book and then some. This isn’t the first time he’s been drunk and flipped out. But I have given him many chances, three to be exact, to either give up drinking or learn how to express his anger without being crazy. So after this last fit, I told him I was done. It’s been about a week now, and due to our circumstances, we are still living in the same house. And everything seems fine, and we are getting along well. It’s definitely quiet, because he doesn’t want to separate, and I am having trouble telling myself this isn’t what I want anymore. I’m stuck letting the good cover the bad. When it’s good, it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s scary. He feels I shouldn’t leave because he gets angry once in a while, but I also feel I don’t deserve just to sit there and take it. Do I try …

My husband gets angry when he drinks and I want to leave: Advice? Read More »

Since having a baby, I feel disconnected from my husband: Help?

Ever since my husband and I have had a baby, I feel so disconnected from him – it’s not his fault at all. I just mentally cannot do it. I get annoyed with him very easily, I don’t feel like we have a connection anymore, and I’m really struggling to want to make our relationship work. He is an AMAZING father and husband, but I can’t stop getting upset with him for no reason. Do you have any advice for me? Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

My husband is a impulse spender and has sunk us into debt.

My husband is an impulse spender. Never on little things, but expensive things. Things that require monthly payments. Nintendo, playstation, motorcycle, guns, etc. Every time he comes home from work (he works out of state a week on, week off) he buys something new. It’s like he becomes obsessed with something, buys it, spends a few weeks buying everything for it and then doesnt touch it for months. I try to budget money every month, but his spending is so all over the place. We have a joint account that I use for our kids. I put money in it every month for their monthly expenses, food, toiletries for me, etc. I budget that, but he uses it while hes at work. Every time I budget and check the account, money is gone. I put $437 in that account every month and it’s gone in the 2nd week. If that! What’s worse is that he sits here and lectures ME about spending money knowing damn well the only spending I do is on necessities. I only have $210 in my account. I need to buy diapers, wipes, food, etc with that only. Not to mention, I have to pay my …

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My wife has been distant and staying out all night: Advice?

So my wife, mother of my children, high school sweetheart have been together for 5 years. She has made a full 180. She was all about living life together experiencing new things together, etc. Now she stays out all night without letting me know she has gotten off of work or where she is. Her phone is always on silent. She has unsaved numbers that she texts and i am not allowed to touch her phone. Intimacy has fallen to a zero. She doesn’t help with household duties. What should I do. I’m so lost. Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.

How can I make my fiance fall back in love with me?

My fiance decided we need a break in our relationship for many valid reasons and is now wanting to work it out and eventually get back together. The problem is he said he’s not in love with me anymore but still loves me. How do I get him to fall back in love with me? Sex is off the table, and I’m 36 weeks pregnant with our second. Help! Anonymous Community MemberThis question was asked by a Facebook community member who has asked to remain anonymous.