Selling Sunset‘s Maya Vander says that sharing her grief publicly regarding her recent loss is helping her feel less alone.
“Yesterday was the hardest day of my life,” Vander posted two weeks ago to Instagram. “I had a stillbirth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics. Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box… I do not wish this on anyone,” Vander captioned the heartbreaking post.
“What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me. Given I share my pregnancies in the show I knew I’ll have to post about this and avoid the ‘when is your due date’ question. You will always be in our heart baby Mason.”
When it comes to her children, Vander says they are processing the loss to the best of their ability.
“We are lucky we have two healthy children. So I’m very thankful for that. They keep us busy. Because my son is 2 and a half, my daughter is 1 and a half, they don’t understand yet.”
“My son always talked about, ‘Oh, baby Mason,’ and I showed him my belly. But he’s still too young to understand. So it’s not that he was asking me, ‘Where is the baby?’ Thank God. They don’t know, and that helps a little bit.”
Vander went on to share how even her young son is quick to come to her comfort when she is struggling with the loss.
“When we cry at home, my son does tell me, ‘Don’t be sad.’ And he’s only 2 and a half, so it’s just the energy that we have around the house, unfortunately. And hopefully with time, it would be less painful, but just everything is so fresh. They still don’t understand.”
When asked about her support system Vander says she is thankful for the overwhelming circle of family and friends around her.
“Our family is amazing. My in-laws are here with us. My mom is in Israel. My dad is in Holland. So unfortunately, they’re not here. Although, my dad is coming next month. And my mom, hopefully, after. But, they’re all broken. I mean, you hear about stillbirths and all that. You hear about SIDS, but you just don’t think it’s going to hit your house. You don’t think it’s going to happen,” she shared.
“They’re broken and devastated. They lost a grandchild, my mom, my dad, and my in-laws and cousins. It’s tough. It’s been very tough. We have a very loving family and relationship, and we get a lot of love, I mean, from a lot of friends, and people, and everybody has been so amazing. I can’t even express how much love we’ve been getting in the last few days. And I’m amazed to see how people are just incredible.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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