Following A Lot of Secrecy, How Do You Know When It’s Time to End an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship?

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QUESTION: How do you know when it’s time to end a relationship?

“Well, I found out my gut instincts were right. I am 7 months pregnant and finally moved into a new home with my boyfriend of almost two years. In the very beginning, I had slept with someone else because he was going to try and work things with his ex-wife cause of the kids, but was going to leave the right way for his kids’ sake.

Then today, I had found out eight months ago (remember, I am 7 months pregnant ) that during our week break, he had been with someone else. (I then went on two dates with his twin brother, whom I had a past with which he did not know we had done anything that week too.)

However, the only way I had found out was they ran into each other in person and acted so strange, and I begged it out of him. He deactivated all social media accounts and said it was a one-time thing and that he really wants us to work because everything lately has been so much better. My walls were finally coming down. But now, I feel they need to go back up again. Help?”

RELATED: Q&A: What Is A Well-Balanced 50/50 Parenting Schedule?

Following A Lot of Secrecy, How Do You Know When It's Time to End an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship? | "Well, I found out my gut instincts were right."

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

While many of the commenters admitted that, despite the mom’s explanation, they were still confused about the dynamics of this couple’s relationship, here is what other people said.

“I think that you both need to put all the BS on the table. If you can come to a place of honesty and make the decision to move forward without secrets and with loyalty, you may still be able to have a future. But it’s gonna take a lot of work and you have to both accept each other’s past decisions.”

“Neither of you are serious.”

“I think you both need to re-evaluate this whole relationship. You both can’t be faithful, you shouldn’t be together.”

“I know it’s easy to say but I would leave. I, myself, am dealing with something and I wish I had it in me to walk away. So, if you can, go.”

“You cheated too. You are to blame just as much as he is. Either work it out or just leave but don’t say it’s his fault.”

“I haven’t read any replies but please girl, give up the ‘relationship’ with him AND anyone else. Think of that wee baby and have a break from men.”

“So you both were seeing different people and you’re tripping? Girl. His twin brother? You’re pregnant so I’m going to blame the pregnancy hormones for the ignorance and immaturity.”

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