A mom writes in asking for advice from single moms who have left their town or city and started over with their children, but otherwise alone. This mom says her daughter’s dad “wants us gone,” and she is seriously considering picking up, moving away, and starting over. She is not happy in her relationship and wants to get away from the toxicity. Is this a good call? Any advice for her?
A member of the community asks:
“Have any other single moms left and started over?
Have any of you single moms moved you and your child out of your city/town to start all over? My daughter’s dad wants us gone, and I think it’s time we pack up and leave as his request. I don’t have my license, and because of this COVID stuff, me getting my license right now is impossible. I planned on going back to school in the fall in the city. Should we just go? And live by ourselves?
I’m not happy with my life right now. My relationship with my girl’s father has come to a dead-end, there is no repair to our relationship. I moved cities to raise our children together, and that is clearly not happening. I’m not ready to be on my own, but for our sake(my child and I), I think it’s best we are away from the toxicity of him and his family. What do you guys think? Please help me.”
Community Advice for This Single Mom Who Is Considering Moving Away and Starting Over
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this single mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Millions of women have had to go through similar things and raise their kids alone. It’s scary but it happens. And it will be best for you and your child. Reach out for help there are plenty of resources for single mothers. Good luck!”
” Do it! Some days will be harder than others but you just have to drag yourself out of bed every morning and remember who you’ve made the move for. And as your child grows they’ll realize how strong you are for moving them from a toxic situation and raising them on your own and they’ll admire the hell out of you for it…
… Don’t be afraid and remember that every setback is just a chance to re-evaluate the path your on and a chance to choose the right path for you and your child. You got this momma!”
“You are stronger than you realize. Show your daughter what a strong woman can do. Go and make a better life for the 2 of you!”
“I left with a 4 y/o & 6 week old, enough money for first & last, and 2 hockey bags of our things. I reached out to a lot of places that helped us get on our feet (food banks, found a church, parenting support places), yard sale & second hand stuff. I was on mat leave which was my income but I also applied for college so when that ended I had a student loan which I see as an investment in my family…
… The first year of getting on our feet was the toughest, fighting in court for 3 years w my ex who didn’t want to pay support, sacrificing a lot of comforts that looking back on how my kids didn’t seem to miss too much. It’s been 3 years and I graduated college, now finishing up university, got my drivers licenses and a vehicles, I got a job while going to school. It’s still hard sometimes but not as hard as that first year was. Also there are pages on FB that help families in need with furniture and stuff. Make your goals and slowly work towards them, that’s all you can do! Good luck.”
“I left my ex-husband a year ago and it was the best thing I have ever done for my daughter and I. It’s tough, REALLY tough. It’s hard work but very worth it. You all will be happier.”
“I did it. It was the hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve had to do in my life. Be prepared for anything. Hopefully, you have a good support system because you’ll need it. You got this!”
“I left my husband when my daughter was a couple months old, divorced by the time she was 2. He tried to shake her. Yes, leaving and starting over is difficult but it’s much better than wasting your life with someone who isn’t in love with you, or your child.”
“Go now. I waited for 2 years to leave. I just did, and omg I wish I did it earlier. It is such a relief. I’m so much happier. And yes, I do struggle… But I’m happier.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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