Summer is finally here, which means we can all put our tights and leggings in storage, bust out our new stylish summer mom shoes, and start skipping around in skirts and dresses. Hooray!
If you’re anything like me, this is what you think the first day the thermostat tops 75º. You bust out your cutest sundress, pull up your grown-lady panties, and go skipping about town… for about 30 minutes. Then your thighs start to do that thing that thighs do. They rub together. It’s okay at first: just a minor inconvenience. But by the end of the day, you’re waddling like the world’s saddest duck and vowing to shove every skirt you own back in the closet until Pumpkin Spice Season officially returns.
Truth: women have thighs, and thighs get sticky in the summer. I like my thighs, and don’t think they should be smaller, tighter, or a different shape… except during June – September, when I madly covet Thigh Gap. Not because I think it looks better, but because chafing is the goddamn worst.
I’ve tried everything: those sticks for runners (messy!), bike shorts (sweaty!), and even cutting off pantyhose at mid-thigh in an attempt to DIY a solution (absolutely gross and ineffective, please do not try at home). But this summer, I finally nailed it—and it’s all thanks to my husband.
How to Wear a Skirt This Summer and Experience No Chafing Whatsoever
That’s right: under this breezy, beautiful, ultra-feminine skirt, I am wearing men’s boxer-briefs. My husband’s, to be exact. With the little pocket for his you-know-what and everything.
They are everything I’ve been looking for since my thighs first encountered humidity. They fit. They breathe. The thighs don’t roll up. The waistband stays put. Even as I schlep two kids, one stroller, one scooter, one baby carrier, a diaper bag, a school bag, a portable potty, and all the snacks in the universe from playground to playground.
Clearly, men’s underwear technology is leaps and bounds ahead of women’s. Is there anywhere misogyny hasn’t penetrated? I mean, how hard can it be to just make the exact same thing but without the dong-pocket?
And yet, either nobody has thought to do this yet or nobody cares enough about our crotch-sweat to make it happen. So, moms, consider this a call-to-arms (or, I guess, a call-to-thighs). Stop walking bowlegged, throwing your money away on products that don’t work, sweating to death in ugly bike shorts, or living in culottes until Labor Day.
Just steal your husband’s underwear, and let the skirted revolution begin.
What do you think of this zero-chafing, summer skirt secret? Will you try it? Let us know in the comments!
YA author, freelance writer, fan of books, beats, babies, Brooklyn. Check out my latest YA novel, When The Beat Drops, out now.
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