“I’m so lost and so confused I just don’t know what to do. I have a five-year-old daughter, and her father left her life when she was two. He just recently resurfaced and has a new wife…”
A mom writes in asking for advice about discipline and punishment. This mom, who is currently deployed, said her husband grounded their 6-year-old daughter for the rest of the month because she watched YouTube videos behind his back, despite being told not to do so. While this mom agrees they should punish their daughter, she wanted to ground their daughter for just six days. She feels that her husband grounding their daughter for a month is too harsh for someone her age. Is she wrong?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her child’s father. She says her child’s father left her years ago when she was pregnant with their child. Now, her son is two-years-old. In all of that time, the child’s father has only seen his son twice. He lives in a different state and is generally not at all involved in their lives. However, recently he has demanded that this mom send their child to him so he can spend time with his other kids. This man doesn’t pay child support or provide in any other way. And it gets worse from there. Should she draw a line in the sand with her child’s father?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her 4-year-old son and her son’s father. Her son’s father, who was involved in their lives for a time, is currently in jail. He has two years of his sentence remaining, and she says he plans to be involved when he is released. He talks to his son while in jail, but this mom has told her that his dad is “working.” She is wondering if lying to him about his father’s actual location is harmful. Should she tell her son where his father really is?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her daughter’s father, aka her ex. She says she and her ex ended on okay terms and initially shared custody of their daughter 50/50. But since the novel Coronavirus pandemic began earlier this year, she says, he has not seen much of his daughter. Nor has he contributed financially towards his daughter’s care. (She specifies that they do not have a child support arrangement currently, but she is now thinking of asking for one, given how little help he is providing.) In the end, she is looking for advice from other moms about how to handle this situation.
A mom writes in asking for advice about her child’s father. She says her son’s father is about to be released from jail and has requested that he take their son “for a few months” after he returns home. This mom is not comfortable sending her son to live with him for that long given his history, her son’s unfamiliarity with his father, and the fact that the father lives quite far away. How can she work to help father and son build a relationship she is actually comfortable with?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her 11-year-old daughter. She shares custody of her daughter with her ex. However, her daughter has not wanted to visit and stay with her father (and his wife), mostly because of anxiety over COVID-19 and also because she has a new baby sister at her mom’s right now. This mom says her daughter’s father will call and guilt-trip her about not coming to the point where it upsets the daughter and makes her cry. What can this mom do?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her ex, the father of her two-year-old daughter. She says her daughter’s father has had very little involvement in her life due to being in and out of prison. Though this mom has no interest in any kind of meaningful relationship with her ex — and refuses to let him live with her again — she is conflicted about to what degree, if any, she should let him into their daughter’s life, given his history. Other moms share their advice for her below.
A mom writes in asking for advice about custody. She says the father of her child, who is now five, has never been involved in the child’s life because she did not want him to be. She is now at a point where she is slowly letting her child’s father into their lives, but she is worried that he may try to take custody. Could he do that? Any. advice for her?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her husband. She and her husband both work full time in addition to having a son. She says her husband believes they should split the cost of everything 50/50, and they do. But it gets more complicated because this mom says that his “50/50” attitude does not apply when it comes time to taking care of their house and child. How can she work with him on a more equitable division of labor? YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: My Husband Does Not Help Our Family At All: Is It Time for Me To Leave Him? A member of the community asks: “Should a household always be 50/50? So my husband and I both work 40 hours a week. We both have decently straining jobs. His more physical, mine more mental. He believes we should split the bills 50/50, and we do — half on electric, gas, lease, car, down to the grocery bill. The problem is, he barely does any housework. I’m usually the one staying up on my days off to clean everything and running around after work to keep it that way. When our son has a difficult time sleeping, I’m usually the …
A mom writes in asking for advice about her mother-in-law. She says she’s always had a problem with her mother in law, who has made disparaging remarks about her and both of her grandchildren. After moving in with the mother-in-law, at her own request, this mom was once again subjected to hurtful comments. She left with her kids and went to her own parents’, but how can she tell her husband she won’t return to his mom’s
A mom writes in asking for advice about whether she should end her relationship with the father of her child. She says she and her father’s child have been separated for five months, and during this time, he has been sleeping around. Moreover, he hasn’t seen their child since Christmas, and he may have abusive tendencies. Is it time for this mom to move on?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her husband. She says her husband, to whom she has been married for 7 years, does nothing to help her or their kids. He doesn’t work. He doesn’t help around the house. He keeps making efforts that only last for days before going back to doing nothing. Things are only becoming more strained with time. They have been to counseling, but the problems remain. Should this mom give up on the marriage or keep trying?
A mom writes in asking for advice about her son’s living situation when he is staying with his dad. She says that her son, 5, stays with his father every weekend. They live in a two-bedroom apartment with no yard. The father’s girlfriend, who also lives with them, is due to have a baby at any minute. Recently, the father’s father, who is an “alcoholic,” moved in as well. She is also concerned that her son is sleeping in a “baby crib” while there. What can or should she do?