As children age into their teenage years, it is only natural for them to request more privacy. After all, they are old enough to do many of the things that their parents used to do for them. No need to change diapers, no need for baths from dad, no need for wipes from mom, etc. Generally, when a child reaches their teens they deserve the privacy they have earned as they are well on their way to becoming autonomous adults.
One teen has not been afforded the privacy she deserves and has grown so disturbed by her father’s repeated actions that she posted on Reddit’s AITA forum to better understand what others found acceptable. The 18-year-old describes a situation in which her father walks in on her while she’s showering and changing clothes without the courtesy of a knock.
A teen is wondering if she’s in the wrong for requesting privacy and locking her bathroom and bedroom doors to keep her father out when she’s naked.
“My dad does not often respect my privacy,” the 18-year-old’s post beings. “He usually doesn’t knock. About once every month or so he will come into the bathroom when I am showering if my mom is using the other bathroom.”
The fact that a parent enters a bathroom unannounced would be somewhat accepted in some families but the next fact the teen details will likely rid you of that notion in her specific case.
She explained that the shower does not offer privacy writing that it’s “a sliding glass door, no shower curtain so he sees me naked.”
Well, that takes things to a new comfortable level. The teen goes on to share that it is not just a weird thing her dad does with the bathroom. In fact, the walking in seems rather targeted.
“He has come into my room when I was changing and naked a few times and asked me a question,” she wrote.
After it kept happening to the teen she finally confronted her father and told him she’s “not comfortable with him seeing me naked.”
For most reasonable parents, we imagine the request would not be too controversial. After all, it’s not like this person is a young teen. She has just turned 18. Which makes you think…
The teen wrote that she started to lock the the bathroom door and bedroom doors whenever she is changing or showering. But, his response was probably not what you would expect.
Instead of respecting his daughter’s privacy, the young woman explained that he called her a “prude” for recently locking the door as she showered.
The teen lists ‘four reasons he has to justify” his behavior.
- “He has already seen me naked”
- “Family should be comfortable with nudity”
- “He already knows what boobs look like
- “My older sister doesn’t care if he sees her naked”
Did any of those reasons change how you felt about this? Did they actually make you cringe even more? We kind of feel like our insides are being crumpled like a piece of paper before it goes into the trashcan.
“He was so annoyed when I didn’t let him in the shower,” she concludes the post.
She then poses the question to the community: “AITA For Wanting Privacy From My Dad and Locking the Door?”
Needless to say, folks had some thoughts about the matter which they shared with the poster.
“[Not the A–hole]. Also, gross. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your dad is a pervert,” one person replied. “If he wasn’t a pervert, he wouldn’t have been so annoyed to be locked out.”
“It’s really disturbing that he called you a prude and to me is very telling,” another agreed. “It’s not about just needing the bathroom or it’s not something he hasn’t seen before, he’s trying to shame you for being modest. That’s really creepy.”
“He’s effectively gaslighting her into thinking SHE is being unreasonable for not letting HIM see HER naked. Gross!” one person succinctly put it.
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The responses encouraged the poster to disclose that her dad “has commented on my chest a few times in the past.”
Certainly seems like a flashing red light to us! We in no way think this teenager is in the wrong here for wanting her own privacy. In fact, it’s rather infuriating that she should even feel the need to post this in the first place. We feel she might be well-served by speaking about the issue with a trusted adult.
A great resource for those who want to learn about sexual assault and to speak with professionals about their experience is the National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN). When someone calls 800.656.HOPE (4673) the hotline will reroute them to support in their area.
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