A mom writes in asking for advice about a disagreement she is having with her ex-husband. She says their two daughters have started smoking marijuana. She has a “zero drug policy,” but her ex-husband laughs it off and says it is normal teenage behavior. This mom says she wants to drug test her daughters or give them the choice to go live with their father if they want to keep smoking. Is she overreacting?
A member of the community asks:
“My husband thinks I am overreacting about me being upset that my daughters are smoking weed: Advice?
My oldest daughter (18) started smoking marijuana last year. And now I found out my youngest daughter (16) is also smoking now with her sister. I have a zero drug policy, and they both know it. My ex-husband (their father) is laughing in my face stating that its normal behavior, and there is nothing we can do if they choose to smoke.
Keep in mind marijuana is legal in my state, but you must be 19. I have decided that if they want to keep smoking, they can move in with their father, or if they choose to stay with me, they will have to do drug testing. My ex says I am wrong in even thinking about testing them or sending them to live with him. Am I really in the wrong here?”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Disagrees with Her Ex-Husband About Their Teenage Daughters Smoking Marijuana
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“I was kicked out because I smoked. I had no license, wasn’t done with school and had no place to go. If it weren’t for my boyfriend (now husband) and his dad I would not be okay. And now. They smoke. So get over it. You should be happy if they’re at home safe every day and not acting a fool. Or doing hard-core drugs.”
“You aren’t in the wrong. Soon enough the high from weed won’t be enough and they’ll need more. You’re doing the right thing!”
“You are overreacting. Cannabis is not a drug. It’s safer than alcohol.”
“So you’re going to kick your child out over a natural substance which is legal… nice way to push that child away from you for good. Hell, I am a mother to five, work as a nurse, in school with a 4.0 GPA, and smoke. It helps me sleep, calms my anxiety, and helps my nerve damage pain.”
“Leave them alone. 18 is an adult and it is absolutely not your business. If she’s not smoking in the house, I see NO reason for you to still think you have control over what she does. If she is contributing by doing house chores and is either in school or has a job, leave her alone. Weed is beneficial in many ways, your kids could be using it for anxiety, depression, etc…
… I smoked weed at 16 because it was the only thing that helped and actually got rid of my depression and anxiety completely. I tried countless drugs, went to therapy and nothing worked.
As for your 16yo, she will do it regardless of what you say. You can either choose to provide a safe place for her to smoke outside, or she will do it behind your back. You sound like such a Karen to want to kick YOUR kids out of your house and possibly ruin your relationship with them just because they smoke weed.”
“It’s your house and your rules. So if you say no drugs then it should be no drugs. I wouldn’t go as far as drug testing but I would tell them it’s not allowed in your house and if you find it you will flush it.”
“Better weed than alcohol in my opinion. I’d just set rules. Keep a job, do well in school, don’t do it in the house, and just make sure they are responsible and safe. They’ll react a lot better knowing you trust them and that they can come to you and not have to hide every little thing from you…
… Cannabis isn’t bad at all. Just make sure they’re being responsible with everyday life as well. I smoked weed almost daily at that age. My parents didn’t approve, which at the end of the day, I understood due to special circumstances. But I kept a job since I was 15. Got my academic letter. Maintained a 3.8-4.0 GPA. As long as they’re responsible and trying hard in everything else there’s no issue.”
“It’s marijuana. It’s legal. It’s beneficial in many ways. She’s an adult. It’s her choice. Would you be bothered this much if it were Xanax? Or pain killers? Those are drugs too. And they’re not as frowned upon, but are, in many ways, more harmful than weed. Pick your battles, is my only advice…”
“You should smoke with them and calm down. It’s medicine. Chemicals are drugs.”
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