Model Tess Holiday posted a raw and emotional statement to Instagram regarding her marriage to ex Nick Holliday as abusive.
Holiday recently posted a long statement to Instagram where she referenced Holliday, who she married in 2015, as “abusive, unhealthy, [and] toxic.” Around this time last year, Holliday told Parents that she and Nick had been living separately since September 2019, and that he was “working on himself.”
“Coming out of such an abusive, unhealthy, toxic marriage and finding love through my friendships and more importantly myself has been such a freeing experience,” Tess wrote. “I’m choosing to share all of this with y’all because I know so many people are going through similar things.”
“I can’t say that it’s as easy as leaving, because for some, they don’t get that choice, it’s stolen from them.”
“Not everyone gets to walk away (claw my way out in my case) and feel the sun kissing their skin, and I hold space for those that we have lost to intimate partner violence.”
“I know how lucky I am, and it’s not something I take for granted.”
“If you are in this situation, you are so loved and your feelings are valid, even if you can’t see that right now. This isn’t your fault.”
“Abuse is so subtle sometimes that it bleeds into our lives slowly, disguising itself as love. It doesn’t matter how ‘powerful’ you are. It doesn’t matter how much you ‘love yourself.’ It doesn’t matter if you think ‘It will never happen to me.’ It happens.”
“It happened to me,” she continued. “I watched my career, my friends, my finances, literally everything vanish and I couldn’t stop until it was almost too late. It was humbling, gut wrenching and honestly, a little embarrassing (still dealing with that part).”
“How can I be a beacon for a loving yourself when at home my life looked a lot different than what was shared online? I always tried to be as transparent as I could, but unless you’ve ever been in my situation, no one can really say for sure what they would do.”
“The road back to myself has been a long, confusing & hard path. I still don’t recognize myself in the mirror most days. But I’m happy, I’m safe and yea I’m a hell of a lot fatter (making peace with this part too) but I’m still standing.”
“Fear doesn’t take up space in my home anymore, it’s been replaced with gratitude. Tremendous gratitude.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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