Tips on dealing with the pre-teen attitude?

My 12-year-old is convinced that she has the worst home life ever because I have to know who she is hanging out with at all times and won’t let her “go for a walk” at dusk with her female friends completely unsupervised. We also limit online activity. Recently it seems that her anger toward her brother has increased- he’s no angel, and I’m well aware of that, but she calls him a LOT of names: fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, etc. She basically demands that she spend the night with a friend at least one night every weekend, my husband and I usually give in just so that we can have some peace in the house for at least a day, but I know that isn’t helping reach the long-term goal of raising kind, responsible, respectful, successful young people. She rarely asks for anything anymore; instead says things like, “You need to get/buy/do ___ for me…” and when I say “No,” I get an immediate whining “Buuuuuut whyyyyyyy?!?” And she throws a temper tantrum, screaming, yelling, name-calling- far beyond anything she ever did as a toddler or young child. I know that we have got to get this attitude under control, and FAST, but I’m stuck on how to do this without also making everyone else in our home miserable in the process. We never dealt with disrespect (at this age or to this extreme) with our older girls. Anyone else been here and survived the drama-filled child?

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288 thoughts on “Tips on dealing with the pre-teen attitude?”

  1. 3+

    Adolescent stages can be tough. I have a 12 year old. Giving her responsibilities might help. But it’s the stage of I know everything you know nothing. Self esteem is big also so the brother doing that isn’t helping either. Puberty hormonal changes also. Trusting her goes a long ways also. Hopefully this doesn’t sound crazy. She doesn’t want to be around mom and dad so trusting her to be with friends is something to try also.

  2. 0

    A nice ass whipping and that will be fixed. This is my house and you live by my rules until you can pay rent and have ur own keys… there are many homeless shelters..get her a list for Christmas!

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