After the Social Security Administration released the official list of the most popular baby names of 2019 just months ago, the agency also shared more comprehensive data showing all the names given to five or more infants born last year. It turns out many parents looked beyond top choices like Liam and Noah. Instead, literary references, band names, adjectives in the English language, and other unconventional picks were at the top of parents’ minds.
Yes, many parents last year must have read the writing on the wall and somehow knew the chaos that 2020 would bring and named their sons with reckless abandon. So, what are the weirdest baby names parents picked in 2019? We’re going to take you on a guided tour of the nearly inhumane monikers new parents picked last year. Strap in, because these 25 unusual names for baby boys given last year will take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride!
What a life little Infantboy has ahead of him! Infantboy might not ever shake the inferiority complex he’s bound to have. No matter how much you enjoy your little bundle of joy, please don’t stick him with a baby name that doesn’t age well.
These parents had high hopes for their little one and his future in elected, municipal office. If they were truly committed, they would have chosen President as a name instead. Dream bigger, parents!
Is Sylvester Stallone the parent? Of all the action film franchises out there, we suppose this name is one of the better of them. It could have been worse! Apparently, Terminator, Predator, and Indianajones were a step too far.
If Lawyer and Judge are not right for you, Testimony makes another interesting legal name. Little Testi is destined to only tell the truth as it’s prescribed by this very weird name.
Michael was too milquetoast for parents and they decided to get to the meat of the matter with the thrilling name Archangel. We get Angel, Angelo, and the like, but Archangel just seems like these parents winged it.
Some parents turned to 18th-century French philosopher who is best known for being highly critical of Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church as inspiration for their boys’ names. While you might respect Voltaire’s enlightened views, we can all agree that the nom de plume of the thinker is not the greatest given name.
We urge new parents to consider elements of nature over inanimate objects as inspiration for a baby name. We don’t know who in 2019 was hot for monarchy, but some parents certainly were taken by the name Crown. What we really need to know from the SSA is if the middle name is Scepter or Heights.
A little romance might be responsible for that new bundle of joy but you don’t need to stick him with the concept as a name. We pity boys with this name as they reach adolescence because middle school is going to be a doozy for them with a name like this.
While your little one might have been conceived in the cozy quarters of budget-friendly hotel room, you do not need to go naming your child for it. Hojo, Ramada, and Travelodge are also off the table.
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There are parents out there who are so enamored with domesticated chickens that they’ve chosen the baby name Rooster for their son. Rooster!
Having a baby can really feel like you’re taking a risk, but you don’t need to displace those fears in your child’s name. This is just cruel.
Most parents bring new life into the world, but some apparently resurrect it and have thus picked the name Relic for their baby’s name. Do not name your shiny new baby Antique, Artifact, or Bone either!
We’re familiar with the Danish name Mads as a regional form of Matthew, but we have never come across the name Furious before. Did these parents have a tough delivery?
On the other spectrum of adjectives as names, we find Awesome was chosen for several boys in 2019. If you’re going to go all stupid with a baby name like this you might as well go for its fuller form, Awesomesauce. That way you can call him Saucy for short!
Okay, so we’re not totally furious about the name Utah but it’s not exactly awesome. There are plenty of states that could make for even better names! Minnesota, Alabama, Wisconsin, and Connecticut come to mind.
FIND BETTER OPTIONS HERE: 25 Sophisticated City-Inspired Baby Names with Tons of Character
Okay, we know that Subaru is an actual Japanese name that means “to unite” and also refers to a star cluster (the same star cluster you’ll find depicted on any Subaru automobile), but of all the names out there, could we park this one for now?
What sort of life choices gets you to a place where you’re naming your son Redeem? A new baby is not going to fix that failing marriage! According to the baby name database Nameberry, the interest in this name is up 1000%. What are we trying to make up for with this name, parents?
Some parents saw 2020 coming in 2019 and went ahead and planned for the worst with the name Demon. Or maybe those parents just got lost on the way to the handsome name Damian. Either way, this isn’t the most pious moniker out there.
Of all the emotion you hope for your child to experience, rage is probably not front of mind for most new parents. We recommended Anger, Denial, Fury, and Remorse as other possible options.
The regal Bison are large, even-toed ungulates in the genus Bison within the subfamily Bovinae. They’re only found in North America and we imagine the same is true for this strange baby name.
Ah, yes, this must be Crown’s twin brother. Heir is ridiculous for a variety of reasons including that it sounds like air or hair and that it implies intergenerational wealth which is currently not enjoyed by huge swaths of the population in this country further exasperating inequality!
Lights! Camera! …
Fans of international superstar Hugh Jackman might be tempted but we beg you to please reconsider Jackman as a given name. Jackson, Jaxson, Jack, anything except Jackman will do.
Why, yes, we do like our baby names served with a side of chaos. Having a baby is wild but it’s not this bad!
Grant us the serenity to accept things we cannot change. Woo! Macgyver was probably considered as an interesting vehicle to get to the nickname Mac, but it’s an inconvenient way to arrive at it. No matter how much you love the TV character Angus MacGyver, please do not assume this name imparts genius-level intellect. The opposite is clearly true.
There you go! 25 unusual baby names for boys that parents actually gave their sons in 2019. We urge you to learn from these mistakes and make smart choices! Thinking outside the box is fine, but please stay in touch with the real world.
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