My Ex, Nor His Mom, Can Watch Our Son on His Day: So Who Should Have to Take Off Work?

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QUESTION: Who should take off work to watch my son?

“My son goes to his Dad’s Saturdays to Mondays. On Mondays, it’s not his Dad that’s watching him on Mondays; it’s his Dad’s Mother (my son’s gran) whilst he is at work. My son is not in my care on Mondays, specifically because I am working, but in their care. My son’s gran will not be available on a specific Monday, and I have been asked to care for my son and take a day off work. Me personally, I didn’t think that was right as I thought my son’s Dad should be taking a day off work because it is his mum that can’t care for my son whilst my son’s Dad is at work?”

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My Ex, Nor His Mom, Can Watch Our Son on His Day: So Who Should Have to Take Off Work?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“Do you pay for childcare while you have him? If he only has your son Saturday through Monday and you have to provide child care all the other days while you work, he should definitely be the one taking the day off. He’s lucky his mom helps him on one of his days.”

“Why not get someone else in the family to care for him on certain days? Or a family friend. And pay them. I mean, not always does it have to be his Grama. I mean like you said she can’t certain times because she may be going to her Dr or she could just be busy and can’t. We as parents gotta think about their health too. And not just trying to have the grandparents sit all the time.”

“If it is feasible for you, why not take the day off? If not, it really is his responsibility.”

“Nope, all these people saying you should take time off are ridiculous. First, if there’s a court order saying those are his days then he needs to figure it out. Second ask yourself, if the situation was reversed, would he call out at work for YOU?? If the answer is no, uphold your boundaries, let him be a big boy and figure it out like I’m sure YOU, as the mom, usually have to.

“Pay no attention to the people who are judging. It is the father’s responsibility to find care on HIS time. You have to work, as a mother, you are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing…which is providing. You didn’t create that child by yourself, your ex needs to step up.”

“It depends on your agreement. But also it depends on how willing he is to work with you. I have bent over backwards trying to help my ex with the kids and everything, thinking that he would reciprocate when the time came that I needed help. But that was not the case so I do not help him anymore. If I have to take off work to take care of my children and he needs to be able to take off work take care of his children as well. It’s not solely on the responsibility of the mother just because society seems to think that the women should drop everything and not the men.”

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