After you have kids, you gain many superpowers. One of which is that you can now change a diaper blindfolded with one hand tied behind your back at lightning speed. It becomes so commonplace and second-nature that many parents don’t think twice about where or when they slap a fresh diaper on their child.
For those without kids, however, the idea of a stinky diaper change can make their stomachs turn. One woman was caught off guard by a friend casually changing a diaper at her home. She posted her grievance anonymously hoping others could commiserate with her. Luckily, the internet obliged.
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The mother changed her child’s diaper mid-conversation in the middle of her host’s living room.
The anonymous poster starts by admitting that she doesn’t have children or particularly care for them. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect other people’s choice to have kids. However, her friend’s child needed a diaper change while at her home.
She describes the situation, “Mid-pleasant catch-up it’s apparent 19-month-old needs nappy changing and it’s definitely solids,” she explained. “Friend proceeds not to break conversation but whip out a very small changing mat and some wipes, etc., lay it all on the carpet and introduce fresh fecal matter into my front room.”
She kept her comments to herself, at the time, but needed to express her disgust and disbelief anonymously online.
The situation was so disorienting to her that she didn’t understand what was happening at first. Then her tea had an “overpowering scent of poo accompanying it.”
“I am very supportive of breastfeeding in public, etc., that just hasn’t got any argument against it, why should anyone be made to eat their lunch in a toilet,” she said in the post. “But in the same vein — why is it acceptable to change a nappy in a living room rather than a perfectly well-equipped bathroom or even ANY other room that we are not drinking tea in?”
The poster explains that she’s a healthcare professional and is used to bodily stuff. But, found it rude for her friend to change the child’s diaper in front of her. “I get that you are probably completely immune to your own child’s effluence, but to expect others to find it as delightful seems unreasonable,” she wrote.
Time does not heal all wounds.
Although a few days have passed, the woman is still not over the incident. The internet calls it “diapergate” and of course, people have opinions.
Many people agree with the anonymous poster. They think it’s inappropriate to not excuse oneself or ask the host first.
“As a mom, I would never do this without asking the person there where to change the baby, some friends say go ahead and change it there, others will direct me to where I can change them,” someone posted. “So I don’t blame you for not being happy about changing a dirty nappy in your living room.”
“I don’t think it’s particularly nice to have someone change a smelly nappy in the same room as you’re sat having a drink/eating (even if they are happy to do it at home, that’s their own choice!),” another person agreed. “The smell does have a tendency of lingering so it’s only polite to ask if there’s somewhere else it can be done.”
“In someone else’s house, especially someone who doesn’t have young children, who I haven’t seen for a while, I would definitely ask where to change her nappy,” another posted. “It’s just common courtesy.”
Hardened, serial diaper-changes don’t think it’s a big deal.
“Changing nappies is just something that you do without even thinking about,” someone posted.
“Whilst it’s not something I would do at a friend’s house, I do think you need to get a grip. You are still so upset hours later that you have decided to write a very long rambly rant about it,” someone else posted. “It’s a baby’s bum being changed, is it really that offensive?”
“OK I’m the rude friend that just changes my baby’s bum,” one mom observed. “I never thought about it being ‘offensive’ to anyone, I mean would you want to sit in your own sh*t for longer than necessary?”
The thing that got most people upset was… breastfeeding.
“Word of advice: breastfeeding and pooing are not the same thing and if you compare the two with any of your breastfeeding friends in real life, you might find yourself short of a friend,” someone posted. “It’s quite an offensive thing to do.”
“Do you relate everything that’s ‘a bit off’ to breastfeeding?” another person asked.
Wow. Just. Wow.
Things got heated. But, it’s important to remember that while everyone poops, it’s equally important to remember that not everyone enjoys poop.
Finally, someone left a comment that seemed to draw consensus from both sides:
“I’ve been that friend. Almost all my mates have little ones by now and we all just change wherever we are, no drama,” she admitted. “However I went to a pal’s house who didn’t, started to change my baby on the floor in the living room without even stopping conversation. Didn’t even think about what I was doing, it was just automatic. She didn’t say anything to me at the time but I overheard her telling her bf how disgusting it was later. And I realized, yeah fair enough actually if that’s not your life! So now I always ask, but it took me overhearing that to actually think about it.”
See? We should talk about things like grownups.
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