A mom writes in asking for advice about shared custody in the age of COVID-19. She says she has serious reservations about sending her 6-year-old daughter to her dad’s house for a few reasons. For one thing, the girl’s father’s current girlfriend works in healthcare and is in and out of the house. For another, this mom’s dad, who sometimes watches her daughters, is immunocompromised and high-risk.
A member of the community asks:
“I am worried about my daughter going to her dad’s during this pandemic: Advice?
Good morning! I’ve never reached out for advice, but with everything going on in the world, I needed some advice or opinions from some mamas! My ex-boyfriend and I share a 6-year old daughter. He and I have a great co-parenting relationship and an overall good friendship! I’m facing a dilemma at this current moment and can’t seem to figure out the right move to make and/or how to go about it. He works on the road, so he very rarely sees his daughter, which is completely understandable. He arrived back home last night and wanted to pick up our daughter sometime today for about ten days. However, his girlfriend is a respiratory therapist who is in and out of the hospital every day.
My concern is, I’ve got a 67-year-old father with AFIB, and if he ever got exposed to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m just not sure how his body would respond. I am a single mother, so I depend on my parents to help me at times to watch my two daughters as my job often requires early mornings or late nights. I don’t want to upset the father of my child or his girlfriend because I know they’re just trying to make a living like the rest of us during this COVID-19 crisis, but I’m also aware that I need to do what’s in the best interest of myself, my two daughters and their grandparents!
I guess the point behind this long, boring story is, should I allow my daughter to go with her dad today, or should I tell him that until the health crisis has calmed down, I would prefer she remains at home? He lives in a different town than we do, and there was finally a case confirmed yesterday in his town, and where his girlfriend works, there are now two confirmed cases (we live in rural areas). Any advice would be SO much appreciated!”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Worried About Sending Her Daughter to Her Father’s House During the Pandemic
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“As long as they are doing everything to keep safe in their home I say let her go to her dads. Talk to him and see what he says.”
“It’s definitely a hard decision right now, I would find out what precautions are being taken at there house, making sure the girlfriend is being extra careful which I’m sure she is! But as long as they are being safe & taking everything seriously I would let her go.”
“I’m not letting my son go to his dad’s until this is all over. You just never know! Better safe than sorry! Plus I have very young kids so if he were to go then he could possibly bring something home. That’s just me tho.”
“The question is do you have a visitation schedule done with the courts? Because those are all still standing and have to be adhered to just like any other time.”
“Keep your daughter home. Her father should understand if he truly loves her. Call your attorney.”
“Courts are standing by court order visitations, there are lawyers posting on their pages that they have been asked this question. They are pretty much tired of the question being asked.”
“My husband is a respiratory therapist and there are 61 cases at his hospital. It’s very scary. We have 5 kids here as well and I babysit. As long as they take the standard precautions all should be ok. My girls’ dad would rather them stay here than visit with him every other weekend. Makes no sense but I’ll take it.”
“As someone who just left the hospital and has a compromised immune system, I would say no. But you can’t live in fear. It’s hard to know what to do. I had to pretty much just do the same thing with my daughter. The visit will always be available, those are loved ones you are risking.”
“Imo, it’s an unnecessary risk. If you can talk with him and assure him you’ll give him extra time when this passes, that might be the safest option. Good luck, it’s a hard spot for all of you, and so sad for your little one.”
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